So..as with many on this new years eve comes a time of reflection. .although I reflect and analyze all the time I will share with the many ;) .. Im sad to say that in the past years bearing my own shame and guilt and still lacking the tools not given to me in early years nor having yet acquired the maturity to truly battle my inner demons..by tapping into a side of myself that has known how only to survive by and endure physical mental and emotional anguish by shutting down all feeling...Ive hurt people I love dearly and some I dont know.. Im proud to have conquered some of the pains of life as they say yet still feel the weight of shame of many of my actions. I also believe through all this I am opening into my strongest new years ever.. apologizing to those Ive pained no matter their response. . Holding my ground to those who cannot look beyond their own world and so have caused harm in that of mine. Proud of the mother Ive become and unlike some who feign the appearance of undying love would truly give my all for this little girl. As i recently met many beautiful people helping me i received a beautiful thanks from the family of a patient recently deceased..we all are here for each other..Through the times that are lonely or even yet still feel like the weight of the world on my shoulders I remember this: life...is hard enough without our harsh judgments of ourselves and others. For this new year I wish you all to see and feel the beauty of the world which balances out the tragic times..namaste.
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 16:44:26 +0000
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