So everyone I am going to get on my soap box and rant awhile. I am NOT a perfect parent and I HAVE made many mistakes with both my sons BUT I have NEVER put anyone or anything before their well being, safety and happiness. Both my sons have always came first in my life and everything I have ever done has been and will continue to be for them. Yes when I was pregnant I smoked and yes I was 20 years old and dumb but that was NOT any form of intentional child abuse or neglect, it was a wrong decision on the part of a young mother to be. Some people feel that I go around thinking I am better than anyone else so here is what I have to say to that, you are just jealous. Dennis and I have made a good life for ourselves and by ourselves. We have worked hard for 31 years to have what we got and I will not feel bad about that. I grew up with nothing and a broken home and I made the decision to make my life better for me and my children and this is what I have done. I will be woman enough to admit if I am wrong, as well as if I feel the need to call law enforcement on you or DSS on you. I will not hide in the shadows because if I call one of these agencies on you then I feel there is a reason. If I feel that DSS needs to look into a situation that involves possible child neglect or abuse then I won’t hesitate to call them. If I feel the need to use my “connections” you can bet they will respond quickly and nothing will be left unturned. There are many forms of child abuse and no matter what people may think mental abuse is child abuse. If you talk down to your kids, belittle them, make them feel they are not loved or even cared about, that is mental abuse. In the state of North Carolina it is a Class 1 Misdemeanor to knowingly know a child is being abused and not report it. Did most of you know this? Just look at NCGS 7B-301. Child abuse is one of the most wrongful acts on any level a child endures and it remains with them for the rest of their life. If a child is neglected and shown no love or affection they will not learn to show love and affection to others. If a child is made to feel they are a burden to those caring for them they will not develop a positive self-worth about themselves. People think screaming and holler at your kids is ok and it is not, it does cause damage and teaches them to do the same thing to others. Unless you have raised a child that has been abused or neglected you can’t possibly understand the depth as to which this goes. Children that see their mother being hit, talked harsh to and belittled will only do the same thing to their partners because they think this is the only way there is. Now not all kids turn out to repeat the same behaviors but 95% of them do. Also, I am not a perfect daughter, I do not go see my parents (3 sets of them) like I should and I guess if they lived closer that may even be different. I don’t see my brothers like I should and that is because 2 of them don’t live here and the other 2 are living their lives in ways I can’t be a part of. I learned from Andrew that blood does not always make it right, it doesn’t matter what DNA you have, it matters how people act and treat you as a person. Just because someone is related to me does not mean I have to accept how they act or treat me or my family. Wrong is wrong anyway you look at it. I have a plate full at the moment with work, being back in school, Andrew, now a new grandson, my Maw Maw and Dennis and I do the best that I can and if that isn’t good enough, oh well. I have never used any of my grandparents for what they could give or do for me. I eat Sunday dinner at my Maw Maw’s just about every Sunday and that is because she loves making Andrew mashed potatoes and we are all she has here but if for some reason I just quite going and didn’t call or anything how do you think she would feel? Especially if there were feelings hurt over other family issues and she thought I was taking this out on her. If you are only keeping a lifeline open to someone because you may need something from them in the future, let me tell you, that lifeline will evidential break and when it does there won’t be any way to repair it. Our parents and grandparents are not always going to be here and like I said earlier I need to be more involved with mine but when the day comes that something does happen I want to be able to lay my head down at night and know I did what I could when I could and have no regrets. All communications goes both ways. Respect is not a given in any relationship, mother-daughter, father-son, grandparent-grandchild, it is earned and if you can’t have enough respect for the person that has helped you along the way then you need to stay away. If there is one thing I can say we taught Ben it would be respect and how to earn it and how to give it. He is not perfect by no means but he is a hard worker and relies on no one to care for him or his new family. He has always stood on his own 2 feet since the day he turned 16 and he never expected any handout from no one. The one time I asked for a favor on his behalf came back to bite him and me and he lost a strong relationship over it even if he was justified in the situation. Yes we have helped him along the way but that is because we could and because he was helping himself. If he was not attempting to help himself or if we felt he was not doing what he should have, he was on his own. I can also tell you if there ever comes a time that we feel he is not treating Hunter or Jessica like he should be or in a wrongful manner, we will be the first ones on the steps of DSS because someone has to look out for Hunter and if you dont believe that ask Ben and he will tell you the same thing. Same goes for all children out there that cannot care for themselves, someone had better step up and watch out for them or they will fall and that will be on your head and conscious. Okay so I am done but I will say one more thing. If you think I have done or said something, you need to ask me instead of assuming because that assumption might come back and bite you in the butt. And if you un-friend me don’t even think about asking for it back because I don’t play these childish games.
Posted on: Thu, 16 Oct 2014 01:10:10 +0000
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