So for a while now Ive been trying to come up with the words to describe my feelings connected to my cookies. I have realized that with every cookie order I make there is a connection to my heart. To most its just a cookie right? Well, to some its more than that. And to me, its a part of me. Its something you cannot see. Its deep within me. A true love for what I do. Im often ask how I got started with this cookie gig. It goes way back. I come from a family of very talented women. Women who touched my life in ways they may have never known. My great grand mother was an artist. I remember her canvas, easel, and paints all set up by the tv playing Bob Ross. And my Mamaw was amazing in the kitchen. She could turn a few simple ingredients into something amazing. She always knew what went with what. And then my mom is who took the two of each of the women and mixed them together. Art and food. I have memories of cakes and cookies throughout my childhood created by my mother. Birthday cakes she made to match the theme of my party such as Strawberry Shortcake, Holly Hobby, and Annie. And there were cookies for holidays like Easter and Christmas. These women taught by example. All of my life I was watching, learning, looking up to them. I have always enjoyed cooking and being artistic. My love for making cookies started in high school with a cookie in the shape of a dog bone decorated in kelly green icing reading GO DAWGS. The football team showed their application by naming me Football Sweetheart one year. I was honored. Making cookies had always been something I did on special occasions such as holidays. It is a tradition to decorate cookies at Christmas with my own children for them to leave out for Santa. I became very involved with the kids elementary school. Baking cookies to share with the teachers and staff. The appreciation and enjoyment they showed was so uplifting. It was at a time in my life where I questioned who I was...I knew I was A daughter. A sister. A wife. A mother. A friend. A pre-school teacher. I believed that all of these were things that involved making others happy. It was never about ME. I gave 110% of myself but yet I felt as if I was failing at all of them. I struggled to balance it all and find a happiness inside of me that I knew was missing. I let my teaching position go to try and focus on the important things my life. My family! I have always put others first. Never thinking of myself. My opinion was that I didnt matter as long as everyone else was happy. Its didnt take long for me to see that I was falling apart and apparently I did matter. Theres that saying If momma aint happy, aint nobody happy. Well, that was the case I guess. The change within me started as a friends daughter was at Texas Children Hospital on a heart transplant list. This same friend had lost her 4 year old son the year before to a heart condition. You can read their story at dscarpenter.blogspot I remember being at the hospital and like others asking if there was anything we could do for them. Feeling helpless. As I walked away Susie mentioned that some of my cookies would be great. It was then that I thought this is something only I could do for her. I went home and begin baking. Watching the clock as I decorated these cookies while Addi was in surgery. I prayed and prayed. It was more than just a cookie. My heart hurt and wanted to give. I realized that all of my life I had tried to control situations to make them perfect. The pain I had felt many times in my life was from this. It was then that I realized I was not in control. I needed to stop putting the pressure on myself and turn to God. I realized that perfect is Gods plan. I realized that the perfection I had struggled so long to create had blocked a happiness and peace in my heart. Once I looked at life and saw past its imperfections did I see that when there is God, there is good. And Gods grace is PERFECT! Susie helped me understand this. She lost both children but yet her faith in The Lord was strong. She was and still is such an inspiration to me. Recently I had another friend order cookies for a doctor as a thank you. At the time, I found such humor in her order. Sperm, uterus, doctor related designs for a fertility specialist. (I was fully aware that she had in vitro to help with her pregnancy of her daughter) I completed the order and around 1am got in bed exhausted. As I laid in bed I looked at Facebook on my iPad. Jennifer had a post that caught my attention. It was a video from the Today show. It was her on the Today show. I had no idea that the order I had just completed for her to give her doctor had such greater meaning. today/video/today/49327371 I wanted to make these cookies again. Not because there was anything Id do different with the design but because my heart was now connected to this order in a different way. Once again, I saw past lifes imperfections and saw God. The baby girl that Jennifer was able to have thanks to the help of this doctor is a true blessing. Gods perfect creation. It was more than just a cookie. Jennifer helped me understand this. She was raped, left for dead and was never to have children of her own yet her faith in The Lord was strong. She is an inspiration to me. She never gave up. justiceforjennifer So many women in my life that I did not mentioned are true inspirations. You all have helped me find happiness. To find who I AM......I am Who made the cookies. No matter what the occasion or reason...its always more than just a cookie to me.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 18:08:59 +0000
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