So here is the thing. Marriage means a lot, I thought it meant more to me than it did my ex wife, but that isnt true. It meant the same to both of us. When it all started we were young and really didnt know what the future meant for either of us. Being good people we fought, we tried for years, and years to make it work and not just for us but for the innocent lives that we together created. When I say we tried I mean we really tried, the effort was equal. Not many marriages, especially marriages that end with children involved, end happily or at least with both parties OK with the choice. The only reason I am making this so publicly viewable is to say that it can be mutual, and it can end with each person better than what they were prior to. I have read too many posts about how I hate her I hate him... and that is fine not everyones situation can be as clean and mutually accepted as mine. But let me say this, we have two beautiful daughters, and before we ever put ourselves in front we agreed to make sure those girls never felt any pain, remorse, anger, or regret because of what their parents (us) had chosen to do.. and that is to move on. I honestly believed that being married meant you never leave one another no matter what they were going through no matter their pain or sickness I mean it is the vows you take... but also in those vows as a man you make a commitment to never break your spouse down, and too never put her through hell and back in so many words... I wasnt looking at the other side, I was strictly focusing on ME ME ME and that it wouldnt happen to me but re-read that statement and recognize how selfish it truly is. So let me tell you how someone can come to the conclusion to leave a person in their worst, and it is simple. We tried... we tried not for the last 3 years, but for 10+ years. We were young, we didnt know what 10 years meant, we didnt know who or what that person would become in 10 years....and how could you? It isnt fair to expect the same response based on choices made 10 years ago when we were young and hopeful, but dumb and not very realistic. No one wants to admit they were the cause for a family to be split up, but in this case it isnt anyONE persons choice, in my case, it is a mutual understanding that we are two very different people than when we met...but the important thing is the girls. Fayth, Brystol, and Londyn are our lives and we BOTH know that. So when nothing else can be agreed upon we BOTH know there are people much much more important than ourselves and those little people are our focus. It can work for the girls, it can make sense for them, it doesnt have to be a traditional I hate you breakup. We get it, there are more people in this world that are more important than ourselves and that focus is how you make mutual breakup.
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 22:34:47 +0000
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