So last night I was at a BADASS TALK BY T. COLIN CAMPBELL. If you dont know who this then I weep for you and your blessed ignorance. JUST KIDDING. No Im not. Anyhow. Due to his fame, the ballroom was bursting with human beings and the hubby and I managed to secure two of the last chairs which we set up along the back wall. Sadly, I had inadvertently chosen a sorely inadequate chair that was on its last shaky metallic legs of life. I was forced to perch precariously on the edge with my quads and calves clenched in readiness to propel me upwards should the chair suddenly breathe its dying breath. There wound up being more people than chairs and standing next to Justin (who had already given away his chair to an old lady in a flourish of chivalry) was an older, very very very large sort of lady whose behavior suggested she would very much like a chair. But I couldnt give her My chair as it surely would have perished under her weight causing extreme embarrassment and possibly injury. I wanted to explain but whispering Id let you have my chair but it wont hold you seemed awfully offensive. I tried to think of variations such as Id give you my chair but its very unsteady and while it may hold up someone small-to-medium-sized, like myself, it definitely will give way beneath the likes of your bulk or You could have my chair but its almost broken. I mean, I can sit in it. Sort of. But you definitely would not be able to. all seemed like extremely rude options despite my best intentions. I also considered simply folding up the chair and leaning it against the wall while whispering loudly Its broken! Its SO super broken! Dont sit in it cause its really really really broken! Like, totally totally broken! but the talk had already commenced and the room was very quiet (I heard someone fart) and I wasnt certain the chair would even cooperate by folding back up. So then I thought I could act like I had some sort of ailment. Short-of-breathness or weakness-of-legness or some other sort of you-cant-tell-Im-terribly-weak-and-ill-but-I-so-really-am, but it felt unfair to those who actually suffered from disease. In the end I just stuck it out and sat stiffly in my chair and looked like a terribly selfish individual. When in reality I am only moderately selfish. I appeared at least 50% MORE selfish than I actually am. It is also possible that no one except that bastard of cruel self-talk who lives in my head felt I looked inordinately selfish, but whatever. My point, yes I do have one, is that if you are ever at a crowded talk and some CLEARLY awesome, vibrant, youthful, practically glowing, charismatic person seems to be behaving horribly by not giving away their chair to the elderly or infirm, it is probably because their chair is on the verge of collapsing. Thats your take-away right there. You are welcome.
Posted on: Thu, 16 Oct 2014 01:04:26 +0000
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