So, last night ended with a sickening bang. Got a call from Little Mamas care center. She passed out while standing talking to one of the care givers and was down before they knew she was falling. She is having what they call sinking spells. Thats why shes falling so much. Her heart just stops in the middle of what shes doing long enough for her to pass out and then the pacemaker probably starts it back up... or she just comes to, whichever. But its yet another sign of whats coming. They took her to ER because she hit her head AGAIN when she fell. This is exactly what was happening here at the house the last six months she was with me. She would be in the floor before I knew it and off wed go to ER and nothing would be wrong except high blood pressure readings and nothing, Praise the Lord, would be broken. They called me just before 2:00 a.m. this morning when they finally brought her back to the care center, but I missed the call because they called on my cell, not the land line. It doesnt matter how many times I tell people, or how many times they write the proper information down on the paperwork, no one calls my home phone first, despite the fact that it specifically states...CALL THE HOME PHONE NUMBER FIRST. I am well aware that MOST people no longer have land lines, but I am NOT most people and therefore always have an active line, even if the power goes out or the cell phone is dead, which is why I expect people to use it. Anyway... I got the message this morning that shes okay. Has no memory of the fall, and is doing whatever it is shes doing this morning. I am relieved shes okay and torn that shes so far away I cant just jump in the car and run up to the hospital and be with her. So, it is what is is and I am reminding myself this is how its all supposed to be. This is Little Mamas journey out. She does not need ME to make it happen. Its just my empathy and guilt thinking I NEED to be there at every sneeze, which I dont. So I will do my thing today and my Little Mama will do hers, and it is all okay. There are two things that everyone in this world has to do alone, even though there might be witnesses to the events. One is to come into this world and the other is to leave it.
Posted on: Sun, 21 Sep 2014 16:23:07 +0000
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