So, let me air my dirty laundry in hopes for a renewed soul in 2015! Pictures may look like all is well with me, but little do you know that I have been in a very dark place for awhile now. The icing on my cake was my dads death coupled with the loss of my job for the second time and some health issues amongst other things. Have I been depressed? Sure , have I done anything about it , not much. I have not liked myself nor love myself for many years, why ? Who knows it is a hard thing to do. I have not gone out with any of my friends in almost a year now, and pretty much stay holed in my house until about 3:00 and then I get moving, due to no structure and not feeling good. I am not looking for sympathy or empathy, I am just letting people know that this is my Reality. Many have had much more worse then myself but I tell you our family has endured a lot the last 2 years, with deaths and health issues that many are not aware of. Your heart can only take so much, I have always been a business women in the past and was pretty successful at it, now I cant seem to change from my sweat pants, Crazy!! It is scary to wonder if I can pull out of this. I have always been strong, but this time I have broke. I have let myself and my family and husband down. I dont know the answers to all of this, but I do pray that in 2015 I can join society again at some point. I feel as though the rest of the world is moving and I am standing still. I pray for me to be positive instead of negative about myself , one day at a time. I pray I can find the spiritual side of faith again and be a better wife, sister , daughter and stepmother. This is probably not the place to say all this, but Facebook is not perfect. My distraction has been taking pics, so if you see them you know that is making me feel some Joy. So, I am not a writer and never tend to be so hope this made some sense. I hope that I can Change myself for the better one day at a a time in 2015 and to my friends I hope that you find something within yourself to change , and not a fitness plan or body image thing but a head thing! I do know that I have to be willing to change this and no one else. Everyone is different and deals with things different no matter their circumstances , some pop right out of things and are positive and keep on moving and other will stay sitting - I was not like this at one point. I hope to really come out of all this stronger and healed!!! Sorry for TMI but had to let it out!!! My smile still remains :) I am letting my mask down.
Posted on: Tue, 30 Dec 2014 21:34:44 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015