So many have asked, thoughtfully, what you can do. And I think I have something. At least a rough draft. Turn kind or melancholy or happy or puzzled or whatever thoughts into action. Plant a tree; tend a garden. Raise a drink; buy a round. Smile into the sun; stop and gaze at the moon. Donate to charity, make a kid smile, visit nursing homes...all the fine stuff we know we should do. Then goof the frak around. Laugh, and share a laugh. Read a book, and tell somebody about it, when its great...warn em, if its not. Do the same with a song. Sing, dammit. Sing like no ones listening, or like everyones listening, and you have become bound and determined to make em croon along: La da da dah. I would walk 500 miles, then I would walk 500 more. I really would. If I didnt own a car. Hug whatever or whoever there is to hug. If it hugs back, keep hugging, right to the verge of creepiness. Unless its a bear. Then mumble excuses, turn your pretty head and walk away. Muscle up. Walk toward those in awful need. It hurts to share pain and heartbreak and fury and bewilderment, its awkward, raw, uncomfortable, and no one knows what to say. What you can say is Im here. Be in life, not just inside your head. In doing so, make everyone feel, and, by serendipity, make yourself feel: No one is alone. I recently read Grant Morrisons All-Star Superman, in which Kal-El says to a distraught young girl: You are much stronger than you think you are. Put aside fears of embarrassment. Embarrassed is amusing, from the proper -- skewed -- perspective. Besides: M. Bare. Ass. D! Trust me. Im a professional. You know string theory, multiverses? The idea that for every action, every choice, grows a distinct and separate universe, spawning distinct and separate lives, and that each of those worlds continues to branch with every new choice? A mind-boggling, vast, ineffable, joyous waucoodle of a concept, yes? In one or more, I became a pretty fair brother, nephew, cousin, uncle, godfather and son (and maybe even functional husband...we are talking infinity here) and who knows what else, thanks to choices. In one or more, instead of just thinking about it, I really did go over to Dads place every night and make him walk those work- and war-weary legs, urge him out of the office chair, so his huge heart could grow stronger. In other lives, I did much the same, proved love by doing, for my big brothers, who are gone at least partly because though I thought, I did not do. We cant leap sideways to more idyllic worlds, but we can start right damn now making choices, doing stuff, to turn this one around. There is not a single multiverse world in which I would not be a wasteful dreamer, ambling round in the noggin, turning over intriguing rocks and trying to grow flowers in the desert, in which I would not pull my head off the floor and come up screaming, in which I dont want to push through the crowd and tear down the walls, in which I dont wish to make someplace out of words and drums and guitars, in which Im not always, somehow, looking for the next best chance while missing the place where I stand... ...and there is not a single one in which it would not be helpful for you to remind me to come out and play. And I will clamber from the world of thoughts and do the same for you. Two hearts are better than one. Theres so much that you want; you deserve much more than this/If dreams came true, wouldnt that be nice?/But this aint no dream were living through tonight./You want it? You take it. You pay the price. Aim to misbehave. One. Two. One two three faw.
Posted on: Thu, 27 Nov 2014 07:50:57 +0000
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