So much weighing heavy on my mind these past few weeks. So much going on in this pea sized brain of mine. Deeply saddened by the news of Neil and Ferdis /JIS case going to trial. Actually, Im in shock. Typically (and I think most of you know I dont have an issue with words or speaking my mind) Id be posting away and saying we have to stand up and do more. And we do. We have to. But Ive been so taken back by the fact that there are people in this world that are simply evil and malicious and will do almost anything, at any cost to try to hurt innocent people and will be so horribly deceitful. Im beyond angry. But I am mostly dumbfounded. And I tend to shut down when I feel this way. But nothing good comes from that. So, expect to get the old Tonya back on this stuff. Im pretty upset about it. So its on now. I know I have had my share of struggles- the past 2 months have been truly horrible. I try hard to not go on and on with so much as it relates to medical stuff because well, I dont understand it half of the time myself. ;). And we ALL have problems. Who am I to say that my issues are more sorted than anyone elses… right? All I know what to do is to move forward. Continue on. And be grateful and remember that in the end- im not in control. God is. So, I just keep going. Not sure what other choice there is… I dont know any other way. But when I get myself to this place of anger and frustration and irritation- I am reminded of a few things after I calm down a bit. God, love, friends, support, and what is truly important in this life. Its not work or money. Thats all very nice, but in the end, doesnt matter if you dont have love in your heart , peace about who you are and truth in your soul. I am truly , without a doubt, blessed with the people in my life. Andres Ardila… wow….. I wish you all could see what hes done how hes been at every appointment, doctor notification, drives distances most wouldnt…. and still finds a way to tell me Im beautiful and is as as strong as he can be , even when I know its so hard for him to be strong at times. His parents, his family- incredible… . All the while , being a Dad a son, a brother, a friend. Kelly, Ronna, Alice, Nina C., Greg, Abbe, Mike, Cathy K., Irmgard, Amy, Kyle,Kelli, Keith, Craig, Yanti, Tina, Meghan, Susan M. Sue S., Sam M, Mike B. , Jay R, Cannetti, all of you.. I dont know what Ive done to deserve you. But Ill take. it. And…. the many of you who have just reached out and said hey.. I know I only i know you through Facebook… but keep your head up. you have no clue what thats done for me. You dont. Well, God has truly blessed me. Ive not always been perfect in my life , and Ive made some stupid mistakes and know Im totally imperfect. But ill tell you what… The Big Guy up there?? Hes got my back while Im here on this earth. And Ill take it. ;) Game on with Neil and Ferdi and JIS. And … thank you. For loving me, allowing me to be me, and for your hands in friendship. I only hope I can be as amazing to you as youve been to me. -Tonya
Posted on: Thu, 30 Oct 2014 23:03:29 +0000
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