So my extra-goofy and talented cousin Curtis Von (movie actor) recently had an accident where he was injured. When his lovely daughter asks what happened this is his response: Curtricia Burrell see...what had happened was....this wild zeeebra was in the street right....and everybody was scared, except for me of course, cuz you know yo daddy aint scared of nothing cuz Ima lion. Anyway...everybody was scared... even the zoo people cuz they called them out there. The zebra wasnt listening to nobody. He had already bit 2 dogs & kicked 3 people...I had watched this mess for like 20 mins from my window upstairs. So finally I got tired of watching & decided enough was enough...aint no wild zebra just gon come & take over my hood like that. So I put my Superman shirt on but the cape was in the cleaners; didnt matter....this was an emergency ...people were in danger. So I grabbed an apple outta the fridge & headed outside. As I approached the zebra I yelled for everybody to stand back...the situation was under control. I told the police to secure the perimeter up to a block bcuz things could get ugly. Once the area was cleared, it was just me & the zebra. I said looka here Zebra...ion want no trouble...but you cant be just tearing my hood up like this & causing all this commotion, so you need to leave. The zebra replied back, First off, my damn name aint zebra...its Chico...and I aint going nowhere. And wth you brang that apple out here fa?? I eat meat potna. So I said, My apologies...no disrespect. I dont have any meat, but what I do have is some advice. If you dont clear this area in the next 2 mins, things could get ugly, so please leave. Then Chico said, Bruh...I told you, I aint going nowhere...Im tired of being locked up & held down by the man...I got rights too. I said I feel your pain but this is not the way to handle it; you & your buddies need to stage a protest at the zoo. Then Chico said, Ion live in no damn zoo! Im off Fondren & Airport fool! And Im done talking! And at that instance he charged me, so I jumped in the air, but not high enough bcuz my cape in the cleaners remember? So his head hit my left thigh & flipped me. Bcuz Im agile, I landed on his back & proceeded to ride the strips off that joker. He aint know I was part cowboy. Anyway...dude tried everything to bulk me off...he kicked over cars, trucks, even trees. But I had him....until he jumped on the roof. His hoofs couldnt catch grip & we both came crashing down. I hit my leg on the fence but landed on him. We were both knocked out. I heard a girl from 3rd ward ran over & cut his mane off....she probably wore it to the Usher concert last night. Anyway...they rushed me to Methodist & him to Ben Taub. He was in bad shape...hope hes ok. I receive a medal next week on the steps of City Hall...hope you can attend. But thats what happened. Love you. ROTFLMBO@THAT NUTTY GUY!
Posted on: Sun, 07 Dec 2014 00:35:56 +0000
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