So my publisher suggested that I keep writing, to promote myself, to keep my name and my book fresh on everyones minds, and to keep my creative juices flowing. He said, even if you just blog. This made me laugh, because I dont blog. What would I blog about? Today, along with hundreds of other days, I had a conversation with a fellow mom friend. We talked about getting distracted, and feeling overwhelmed. Ive had similar conversations with other mom friends, even NON-mom friends about frustration over never-ending laundry, dirty dishes piled 6 inches from the ceiling, and hatred for homework, bathtime, bedtime, tantrums, men, Wal-Mart and diets. (Some of these hatreds are only occasional.) So while I scooped the three-day-old pinto beans from the pot on the stove which had been sitting there since Monday, yes, Monday, into the trash can, I realized, this is life. It just is. Thats what Ill blog about. But Ill do it on Facebook because its easier and you cant tell me what to do. Some of you, probably a good few of you, said something either out loud or in your head like, Gross, or, Doesnt she have ants? To answer your question, yes. I have ants. That isnt the point. Pay attention. Say you show up at my house unannounced. There is a two-digit percent chance that it will smell like three-day-old pinto beans. You might find spoons and hair bows and my little ponies and Easter egg shells (in September) scattered across my living room floor. But if you tell me youre coming over, and youre not in my circle of people who show up too often to pretend Im Mrs. Cleany McCleanerson, I will go out of my way to clean my house. I will leave work early, yell at my kids and sometimes my husband for not helping, I will write something new on my kitchen chalkboard, Ill even light a candle or two. Your house looks so good! theyll say. Oh, whatever, its a mess, Ill say. Then, my dog will look at me and Ill feel the judgement daggers shooting at me from her knowing eyes. Why do we do this? I know Im not the only one. Before you begin making conclusions about me, I think having a clean house is important. It is. Its biblical, its healthy, and Ive read somewhere that living in filth can cause depression. Heres the point I want to make. Back in the Spring, we had mice and they were living in my pantry. IN MY PANTRY. We ended up removing five of them, but not until theyd made an absolute mess. For days I was so disgusted with the mess, so terrified that I would open that door and find another one, that I just left it. I didnt open those doors for days. Jay disposed of the mice every morning, dont worry, they werent rotting in my pantry for days on end. Im not THAT bad. Finally, Id had it. I stood at the pantry doors with fancy yellow gloves on both hands, a can of disinfectant wipes, a paper Trader Joes bag, and a scrunched up face. You know what I did? I cleaned it up. I dont have a metaphor. Im literally telling you this so youll know youre not alone. Life is messy. Maybe you are amazing at keeping a clean house, like my Mom, but you dont always like your kids (not like my Mom, she loves her kids). Or maybe you dont have trouble in your marriage, but you feel like you dont fit in anywhere. Maybe you have mice in your pantry. Maybe you are overwhelmed, or scared, or discouraged, or sad, or really really pissed off at a friend or relative or co-worker or God. That. Is. Life. It doesnt look like his life or her life, but guess what, its not supposed to. My life looks like my life. We all have different priorities and dreams and interests and lives. The best thing we can do, as partners in this journey of life, is stop the cleaning charade. We all have mice in our pantries. Stop pretending for the sake of acceptance and admiration, and lay it all out. Maybe not ALL out. You know what I mean. Be real. And for the love of Patrick Dempsey, dump your beans out.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 21:11:11 +0000
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