So recently one of my friends on a dry spell told me I dont see the point in going out tonight, I have a better chance of getting laid swiping through tinder.... Unfortunately it seems more and more bros are going out less and turning to Tinder in hopes of taming some strange. I decided to look up some stats on Tinder to educate my fellow bros: -55% chance the girl in the pic isnt looking to reply and just wants an ego boost -67.6% chance if there isnt a single full body pic your girls large and in charge. -78% chance youre not smooth enough to deliver a witty opener and open lines of communication. -72.3% chance if all the pictures are group pics, its the ugly one, hot girls like themselves enough to have at least one solo pic. -89% chance if shes smoking hot with no description and no mutual friends its a fat greasy dude eating cheese fries on a couch somewhere -92.1% chance if shes selling herself in the description like a craigslist ad, providing hobbies, height, age, positive qualities and blood type its a stage five clinger desperately looking for someone to become FBO with -69.2% chance if she provides her insta handle shes not thirsty for the D, shes thirsty for followers Tinder is easily more miss than hit, but if you come out to my bar at Tabu tonight you know youve got -100% chance of tequila -100% chance of no/minimal sleeves -100% chance of fitted clothing for miring purposes -100% chance of 2-4-1 drinks til midnight #lookatgod -100% chance of #chabois bar becoming a little wet -100% chance of you leaving a satisfied customer, come hang with Da Bu Crew -#1hunna
Posted on: Fri, 16 Jan 2015 22:15:24 +0000
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