So round one of cuts is over... To those of you that really know me know that I wouldnt do this just for attention. But tonight brings yet another round of cuts. I gotta admit this was much harder than I thought it would be. Each day I will look closer to the ones that I hold near and dear and at the end of the week I will assess the ones closest to me. I hold a place for each and every person I meet and put on a smiling face and act like everything is ok... I just kept always thinking life could be worse so just keep quiet... Quiet has not helped... It has only made me fall apart on the inside while holding up my outside... I could call it officially a zombie like state... The brain is moving but only doing a few things... Polishing has been my escape for the last 3 years. I have found comfort in it as it is one of the greatest things I love... Besides my family of course. One of my biggest issues in life has always been my self esteem... Being picked on as much as I was growing up created issues that I never thought were there. I have always picked on myself and others thinking that I could beat everyone to the punch it would go away... It did go away but only to return much stronger... I often struggled to find acceptance when in all honesty I didnt really need it... I still often find myself doing things to help others just to get some sort of acceptance... It isnt the only reason I help people but it is one of the reasons... I have helped lots of people over the years and when I ask for a return on the favor (not that I expect anything) I am often met with excuses and lies. Tonight will be ridding people that take and take from me without any care as to what it is doing... And a few people that I know are hurting ones that I love and cant live without. Thank you. Shine on my friends. Thanks to some new friends in my life I have decided that I have been living in this funk for far too long... I have been burying issues deep inside myself since I was a kid... My parents have always been supportive as has my family. I never talk about my issues since I always know that life could be far worse than it is... I have lots to be grateful for. I have a great family, a successful business that is growing everyday, a beautiful wife and 2 great kids, a nice house, and great customers that have supported me at every turn. I need to turn a new leaf in life to keep me on my path and focused... I have realized over the last few months that I have a few people in my life that do nothing but drag me down... I also have a few close people that need to be moved from the nest and put on the branch a little bit to see if they are just here for the free ride or just to see me fail. Failure isnt a real option. So I have been wondering for a while................................................................................................................................................. If I deleted everyone... Who would come back looking for me??? I need some positive in my life to get positive... Only way I know how to do that is to surround myself by supportive and/or positive people... So I will repost this everyday this week and make cuts to my friends list every day... Will see who all comes back and who doesnt even notice me missing until they dont get their Rack Of The Day that I have liked... We will see how the week goes... To those of you that make the cut Know that you are some of the people that I hold dearest. My nest is just my closest circle that know most about me... If you think this is just me begging for attention or looking to start drama you are wrong... Feel free to delete yourself if you dont like it or me. I just want positive. Could use a little for a change. Thanks all for your help.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Jul 2014 04:43:03 +0000
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