So. said my beloved calmly. I guess wed better change lanes. Yup. I replied. It was 2 in the afternoon on Sunday. We were at the intersection of Central and Parkway, or at least we were the third car in line from it. Airways was behind us, and our target - Union avenue towards the ultimate goal of getting to the ShadowCon meeting - that was still in front of us. Immediately in front of us was an older, low-to-the ground sedan, beige and blocked from forward progress much as we were. In front of that, and in easy view due to the low height of the sedan, was the cause of the blockage - a recent model tall & large glossy black SUV. Now stall-outs are unfortunate but occasional occurrences. Sadly, most of us have had it happen at least once in our driving lives. So too, fender-benders and bumper-taps - but this was not any of those. It wasnt the hood of this US-made behemoth that was popped open, it was the doors. From opposite sides of the vehicle, these doors flew - drivers side and rear passenger - *flew* open the instant that the light turned green. At first we thought it was just a switcheroo. Im tired of driving. ok, at the next light, Ill change with you. Oh, but we figured out that wasnt it once we heard the screams. Thats right, YOU BETTER START WALKING. bellowed the driver. Our windows were up, but we heard it as clearly as if she were in the cab with us. She was addressing the passenger, who was stomping purposefully away back towards Airways, and was just about even with my window. Hearing those words, the passenger, who clutched an empty baby bottle, got a ferocious grimace on her face and turned around, heading directly back to the SUV. She built up speed as she went, bypassed her open hanging door, and hooked a curve around the front bumper. The driver, who had followed the former passenger past the end of the vehicle and was halfway towards ours suddenly realized what was up and bolted back to her open-hanging door, to block her nemesis from getting behind the wheel. The screams and name calling launched into full throttle at this point, as the two ladies got in their cardio - actually chasing one another in a circle around the SUV. We couldnt make out all of it, but a shrill battle cry of I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS was distinct, even over the honking of the other impatient drivers behind us. Well wait - said Stephen, maybe theyre about to settle it. The was a brief pause where we thought they were about to work it out, but it was actually a momentary stand-off as they locked gazes and arms went up in hostile (but artfully dramatic) gestures. Go on and change lanes, my love. I told Stephen. This aint ending until theres a snatched weave lying on the pavement. ---------------- ----------- Theyll never believe us when we tell them. My beloved muttered as we climbed the stairs and opened the door to the restaurant. Oh please. I said. Not one person in the room doubted. Not one.
Posted on: Tue, 14 Oct 2014 02:52:25 +0000
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