So what has Miss Emma been up to lately? How was your Christmas? These are a couple of questions I have received lately. First of all, I would like to say thank you for asking! Secondly, you know those questions are not questions I can answer in 30 seconds. ha ha. Our Christmas was very different this year. 1. Kennys grandmother passed away right before Christmas. We missed having her around. 2. My dad was under the weather making it hard for him to enjoy the holidays. QUICK DETOUR: Do me a favor....stand on one foot and try to balance a book on your head. Next, close your eyes and try to balance. Which is harder? When I tried it, closing my eyes was WAY HARDER! This is what my dad deals with on a daily basis! He struggles with balance and dizziness due to lack of sight and blood pressure changes. Then add in a head cold. You know you are more light headed when you have a head cold. It gave me a new perspective on what he has to overcome daily. 3. Kennys dad came down with fever on Christmas Eve making it the first Christmas that Kenny has not been with his parents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. 4. I put up a few decorations on Christmas Eve (yes you read that right). There was no Christmas Tree, no stockings hung by the chimney with care, no picture taken with Emma and ol Saint Nick, no driving around looking at Christmas lights, and Emma had one little gift to open from us that I picked up in the Arkansas Childrens Hospital gift shop while she was in the hospital. 5. Now my mother and I are sick. Pray it doesnt get Kenny and Emma. So you may tentatively ask again....how was your Christmas? Well, it was a mix of disappointment, grief, Joy, Hope, Love, and Peace.....and it was EXACTLY the way it was SUPPOSED TO BE! I know I have said many times that you cant escape pain and grief. You have to learn to live side by side with it! Yes, I was having to adjust my expectations this year and yes I felt sad at times. However, I hope that when I look back at this Christmas I remember the following list instead of the one above. 1. EMMA was HOME FOR CHRISTMAS! Emma is on 0.5 liters of oxygen when just a short while ago she was on 3.0 liters. She doesnt even need it right now! We are just keeping it on since oxygen is the best medication for chronic lung disease and Pulmonary Hypertension. Her sats are the highest they have ever been! (97-100!) 2. She is so much happier and fluid is under control with extra medication, making it better in the short term. 3. Every Christmas I get to spend with my dad is a blessing since his father and brother both died before the age of 55 with heart attacks. 4. Kenny and I were able to have a very nice visit with his grandmother before she died and say our goodbyes. 5. Our wonderful neighbors put gifts on our front porch so when we opened the door to get the newspaper on Christmas Day, the presents fell in just like Santa had dropped them off! Very cool surprise even for 34 year olds! Also a photo shop picture of Emma and us at the North Pole! Very cool since we were not able to see Santa this year. Thank you Rodriguez Family! 6. Christmas lasted longer this year, since we had to reschedule Christmas with his parents. It was more laid back allowing us to enjoy it more. 7. My mom spent two full days baking my favorite desserts, even the ones that are very hard to make, because she wanted to embrace the moment and give me the best Christmas possible. 8. Thanks to the generosity of my sister and brother-in-law, we were able to spend Christmas with a foreign exchange student from Thailand and hopefully show her the love and acceptance that can come from an American family. 9. I was able to sit back and watch my daughter look at her uncle like I have looked at my brother my whole life. She sees him for who he truly is, which is an amazing, smart, and giving soul. No judgement or stereotypes placed. To answer your question again, our Christmas was very different. It was special in its own way. There was a death to expectations as to how Christmas is SUPPOSED to look, which invited new and wonderful experiences to be made. I am going to suggest something that will probably cause you to gasp. This New Year, DO NOT make any new years resolutions. SAY WHAT?!! Do not place any expectations on what you think 2015 should be like. Simply live in the moment. Allow yourself to be present with yourself, with your children, with your family, with your co-workers. You will be surprised what may enter your life when you remove the box. The box that says you should do this or you should be like this. Feel all emotions. There will be pain, but there will be Joy. There will be brokenness, but there will be Comfort. There will be disappointment, but there will be Hope. Oh, Ive had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, Id have more of them. In fact, Id try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day - Nadine Stair, 85 years old, from Louisville, Kentucky HAPPY NEW YEAR! and Happy Anniversary to my wonderful parents!
Posted on: Tue, 30 Dec 2014 22:51:43 +0000
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