So, yeah. Today at work, two small kids came up to talk to me. Young girl: She looked like and sounded like Little Kid Jenny off of Forrest Gump. Like, she was a real person and someone froze her and then thawed her to talk to me. Young boy: While southern, looked and sounded nothing like Forrest Gump. For the sake of the status, picture little kid Forrest Gump. It works better. Me: I am me. However, picturing me as a little Bubba works better. (Please dont use Lt Dan. Lt. Dan sucks.) Jenny: Whats that? Me: A fire alarm. Jenny: Does it work? Me; No. If you pull it, your hand will be stained blue and nothing will happen. Jenny: So if there is a fire, then what? Me: Youd burn to death. Forrest: If there was a fire, Id punch it in the face. Me: That isnt how fire works. Forrest: If there was a fire, Id spit in its face. Me: That still isnt really correct... (Turning to Jenny.) Can you say Dear God, please turn me into a bird so I can fly far far away from here? Jenny: Youre weird. (They walk away.) Me: (Yelling) FIRES DONT HAVE FACES.
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 00:33:14 +0000
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