So yeah time to tell you all who I really am. My name is (***********) Im attending to a night school Ive been trying everything in the past years just to get some job but Austrias education system is horrible which made me fail in tons of classes during the past years (which is the reason why Im still in night school) Its incredible hard to get a job here. There are hardly any jobs left and even if youve finished idk harvard or whatever with incredible results you wont be able to get even a normal work here. Ive applied to AE back then since Ive wanted to kinda feel not that extremely useless anymore, since ive got - in my opinion - not any talents at all. People partly hate me since Ive got no proper work and wasnt able to get to all my final exams until 20. My life story is kinda like this: Ive been nursing my mother (who is suffering from multiple sclerosis since ages) for about 10 years now. My father has 2 GFs, I went to the AMS (job brokering) about 20-30 times so far, I still have no idea what Im capable of and Ive never managed to get some major success in my life. Even my AE job was kinda a hopeless try to get at least a minor part of self-confirmation. I go out about 1-2 times per week, sometimes (partly 3-6 weeks long) trying to find someone who is able to understand me - during the past 3 years it failed horribly. I get tons of messages every day from people who are telling me that Im awesome or whatever, but I personally think that Im just some general fail. Whatever I did- I hardly could finish most of my so-called-accomplishments or whatever - it kinda always turned out the wrong way so Im kinda sitting here without any plan what to do anymore. Im starting to loose faith in myself slowly (Im not even joking). I know, many of you guys think whatever of me- I hardly care anymore to be honest - since I dont even know what I can do myself anymore due to the feeling of incredible fail-ness x,x I also always had huge problems finding friends since they always got beat up or harrassed for just having contact with me. And I also was put into psychological care for 6 or 7 months since Ive given up on life back then. (several years ago) So whats the current status: - A almost completely split-up family - The knowledge of myself being a major fail (most of the people I know had at least 2 or 3 or more big accomplishments in their lives) - Im getting a lot of hatred from the Austrian society since Ive got no job at all. (wrote to about 200 companies in the past 6 months, all denied it) - So yeah, Im basically trying to get out of this circle of doom since Im getting extremely sick of everyones attitude (irl) towards me. - IM A PERSON ASWELL KAY? - the try of showing everyone respect etc has failed extremely so far and thats another reason why Ive lost faith into basically everything so far. So yeah, the status praesens is the following: - Weve got about 800,000$ debts and I know that Ill mostly work my whole life to pay those back somewhen. - Im unable to find a job here since I dont fulfill the requirements for any (even minor) jobs at the moment. - Im hopelessly trying to find a job since 3 years but always got denied (idk, Ive lost faith in myself already x,x) - Im lately getting called as some socially parasitic human which annoys me like hell - And Im recieving so incredibly much hatred from tons of people nowadays that I simply have no idea what to do anymore----> Ive basically tried everything to change that so far but horribly failed x.x So yeah :l Idk what you guys will think about this status since its the absolute truth (and dont come up with Liez or whatever since its actually my real story). If Im disappointing you now then Im depply sorry for that. It never was my intention to do so - so please forgive me that. Sincerely ~Nox Eternal/G.T.
Posted on: Thu, 25 Sep 2014 00:40:46 +0000
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