So yesterday evening I had a little stinking thinking going on and I didnt reach out. I did not pick up, but I didnt like the fact that my mind almost had me convinced that just 1 would be a good idea and everything would be fine. I would only buy one; lmao... If I were capable of doing that I never would have found my way to NA, I wouldnt have a resume of recovery houses Ive lived at as long as my arm, etc... I quickly recognized what was going on and blew the smoke off the lies I was telling myself. There isnt anything going that wrong in my life. Things are the best they have ever been. I just felt like getting high. By the grace of God, what I have learned from the people in the rooms, treatment, and counselling I did not use. I do; however recognize that I should have called my sponsor at that time, but the whole process was over so quickly. I got home, put on a movie and promptly fell asleep, lol... Alls well that ends well, and I learned what I can do better the next time I face temptation. Oh I forgot to mention that the first thing I did was to pray that Jesus bind the thought of using and cast it out, it doesnt belong in the mind of a child of God... So yet again I say thank You Jesus for carrying me when my legs were getting weak. I am so grateful to God for everything my life is and has become today. No matter how bad I may or may not be feeling there is no feeling that using wont make worse...
Posted on: Tue, 15 Oct 2013 23:16:59 +0000
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