So.you can not win.In having kept the dog in quality food,fresh water,cleaning the yard up always no feces left around(well when I wasnt ABLE to walk..had to clean up in Spring as snows melted..a first ever ALWAYS cleaned up inside and out clean clean clean..now..no money for food let alone other things...!)..in LOVING her but I wasnt the one whoOWNED her...namely I was caring for her every day 365;used to walk and run her alone..no one else had a license/car and when I asked for someone to do so to give me a break I had to ASK...never mind,did it for her...long story...through the whole thing...being so ill,blood transfusions,surgery,Lyme,unemployment,loss of car,all..I saw her through and am still trying and LOSING my mind torn in half now..can LITERALLY not leave the house,,and no I can NOT just ditch my poor Ginger..I have no strength left,the worst has been having other people JUDGE what they DO NOT UNDERSTAND! my thinking has been impacted also by some deepening malnouurishment and if you were like most youd have CAVED long since but I am NOTlike most I am the GIVER and Im BURNED OUT.SICK OF BLAME AND SHAME.NOINCOME and feel the heartbreak of being unseen and unwanted as never before...maybe so I will fully understand from experience?been in rough spots before never as asenior...are we invisible?guess so.HATEFULNESS all around...denial...advice...cant get it across NO.NO INCOME.NONE.And not going to GET any of that despicablegovernment assist...$62.00 infood stamps for 2 people.period and who wants it anyhow...all those years of WORK mean NOTHING. NO I can NOT walk everywhere,no the buses dont cost little no I cant leave ginger alone unattended anymore...she damned near died after I left the house for the first time since last NOVEMBER 11,to go to the ER/Lyme couldnt deal with the pain and I KNOW how to deal with pain,trust me...natural childbirth and thrown onto the mat i nthe dojo,knifed left for dead,hateful vicuious vandals for neighbors..I know how to deal with pain!!..so I left before i LOSE MY MIND altogether ans she ingested paper towels,a cloth,which she finally vomited up...she had rectal bleeding!I still have the sense that someone came in and gave her something;either way OBVIOUSLY as I said I do not DARE let her out of my SIGHT!EVER!That is how it IS..no this isnt the inner city its suburbia where nice normal people shred their neighbors property and reputations for PLEASURE for spite for??whatever I am not from here and NEVER have I witnessed such monstrous behavior,is it Albany think so yes itseverywhere to be found some places ARE more inclined to such than others do not try to argue with me as I have my own experiences as my guide and need no fools folly asadd- VICE;lots of looking..gawking...popcorn munching as others SUFFER... haters...sometimes you really really ARE without any resources!I am more exhausted..no DRAINED from the SADISTIC VOYEURS than the enormity of trying to keep alive two others...plumbing broken heating system,doors windows,nothing to clean with no car to shop with to run errands to do anything at all but hey its the same for all at each place RIGHT?NO IT ISNT.And the more that you struggle in a spiders web the sooner you get noticed.SICK OF IT ALL.ESPECIALLY THE GAWKERS!! and thewell I know I had this/that...this is 2014..it isnt in the same league as previously...as bad or worse than 1929..as then some HUMANITY yet remained so I am told...though I also see from research that depended on..whatever..so yes being in actual effect chained in a house without any way to keep it together(first year did,2nd was harder,3rd it dropped lower and now its going to ruins...BLAME... COME ON BLAME!SHAME!...!! YEAH...SUICIDAL...no plans just longing for the guts to get this FINISHED. DO NOT LECTURE ME! YOU WILL BE IGNORED! NEW AGE OLD AGE BULLSHIT IS BULLSHIT As if some pt minimum wage jobbie were I to have one wouldrepair this ...! NO.One more stress.People need a car for more than going to work,do not lecture me unless YOU are willing to also live without one!I did for long long years a totally different place/circumstance!! WHEN it happens to YOU,then you will understand.~Russian Wisdom saying
Posted on: Wed, 16 Jul 2014 15:17:41 +0000
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