So you lost your cat, some say, big deal, it is part of life so deal with it. Someone said will five hours be enough time for you to get your mother OK so you can come to work.....yeah...I lost a cat. But let me tell you about that cat and what he meant to me and what my other fourlegged children mean to me. That cat came into my life in a time of pain, grieving, and fear....so much fear! Can I support myself and my mother, can I live by myself without a husband....but I jump ahead a bit. I had 2 wonderful absolutely fantastic cats. When I decided to leave that life....I left those two cats so that they would be there for my boys. I left several pieces of my heart there. The plan was to get a couple of kittens so replace those...tho they can never be quite replaced I was going to take 2 from a litter and had a pregnant female all picked out for her kittens. Well her name was Tygra and my mother and I ended up adopting her after she lost her kittens. Mamas and my joke was that we wanted to black cat as we had never had one. God would send us such a cat when that cat needed us to be there. We took Ty to the vet to get declawed and when we picked her up...there was a black kitten looking for a home. It was meant to be. Ty was quite mean to him (Bullet) for several days until she got adjusted and was over her surgery. Then he became her kitten. We had a very happy household. Then I got an e-mail from my ex. Either I took my original 2 cats or they would have to go to the pound. HMMMMM......lets see....a 12 yr old cat and a 2 year old one with litter box issues.....how long would they live at a shelter? Of course I took those cats and ended up with 4 and all the cats go along great. Then Ty went....her life taken by neighbors dogs. Parfait (Par) came into our lives then. Bullet was always the most nurturing of the cats and took very good care of the kitten. Then Tigger at 18 left us.....it was time for him to go. Later we acquired Tigger 2 and then JJ. Wow 5 cats, each of them loved and special. So......he was just a cat eh? That little much loved black cat would sleep by my shoulder every night. He would sit on my Mamas lap. Yet, outsiders rarely saw him as he was a very shy guy. He could disappear so well that we could never find him when he didnt want to be seen...as my sons tried several times. His eyes were golden pennies....his fur gleamed more than the slickest of hairs. He loved 2 people. Me and my mom...we were his people and we were his. Many a tear was dried in his fur. Many a time he would know things were bad and come and comfort me....I never had a cat that was more intuitive. I never had a cat that would come like a dog when called and always, always was by the door to see me when I got home. He would always sit in a lonely elder womans lap on nights when I worked late and couldnt be there with her. He was the protector of the house and would scream a panthers cry when another cat or animal would appear on the porch at night. Yet he was always the first to accept a new cat into the family and be their daddy. He had a wild side and would once or twice a summer....spend the night outside. He wouldnt go out unless he deemed the conditions just right...not too hot, not too cold and not wet at all. But those nights......I would wake up several times and try to call him home. Sometimes he would come. I imagined that he spent the nights drooling in the cat nip patch. He would sit on the back of my mothers chair and purposely twitch his tail in her face. He would wake up in the night and put his wet nose on my face just to wake me up so that I would pet him. He had his places that none of the other cats would take. They respected him that much. He was the leader that lead from behind, but would surge to the forefront if necessary. Sometimes I would imagine that he was my witchs familiar since he could read my mind so easily. yeah...just a cat....MY cat!....my much beloved cat....my cat that I will miss until I die along with the other 4 legged children I have been privileged to call mine. The grief wont go away in 5 hours. Dont mock me because I called into work today. I have done that when each of my four legged children have been called home. I dont ask understanding, but know that I will have it from those who love me and who knew this wonderful, wonderful animal. Never will I be able to dry my tears in his fear. Never will he sit on my mothers lap in the evening. never will he come out and be the Prince of Darkness for my kids and my nephews and nieces. Just a cat. Yes, that is what he was, but he was MY cat and I will mourn him forever! The pain will lessen, that I know, but it will never completely go away. So Bullet, go run and play with those who went before you.....Anton, Toni, Nicki, Max, Sissybird, Bracken, Alex, Ty, and Tigger. They are all their in the heaven that our pets deserve. Leave behind the pain of your end. But come back and visit everyone once in a while......when I see an animal that looks like your or when I need to feel that wet nose that drips liquid on me...sweat or whatever....I never questioned it because I knew it was there because you loved me. With all of my human flaws.....days when I fed you later than you wanted...days when I didnt get the litter box cleaned out....days..... and know that the 4 brothers you leave behind will miss you. They do! They looked for you all morning. I think they know, as do Mama and I. You are gone forever...but never forgotten. Just a cat?????? Yes, but mine. Always mine....I love you and will miss you. Always
Posted on: Tue, 03 Jun 2014 18:56:04 +0000