So you play in a metal band and want to put out an album but cant seem to get signed to a label....I am going to tell you a sure fire way to get signed. Doesnt matter what style of metal you play, hair metal, regular heavy metal, thrash metal, death metal...you dont have change anything about the music...but...first, you need to get a female singer. She must have long, straight, black or dark brown hair. Has to be completely straight, no body or curl to the hair is allowed. You can have a blonde haired singer but it has to be natural blonde with very pale skin..none of that black root crap dye job. She must look like Johnny and Edgar Winters sister. Then, you have to get rid of the demin, leather, t-shirt biker look thing...seriously, what are you, American or something? You must dress like you are going to a renaissance festival. Your singer should never wear black, instead wear a dress made of old drapes, or velvet, deep red. Then, you have to add either one or all of the following. A flute, a harp, a violin and a bagpipe player. Here is where things get tricky. Your female singer must sound like she is one of those American Idol types. Have a really strong, clean voice and sing like she is singing some Kelly Clarkson type song over your Anthrax, Metallica, Slayer, Judas Priest type band. The vocals should not fit the music. in fact, the more the vocals dont match the music, the better chance you have. Now for the lyrics...you have to sing about witches, eclipses, leprechauns, stars, moons, four leaf clovers, basically anything you would find in or on a box of Lucky Charms....then...I guarantee you...you will get signed to Nuclear Blast Records.
Posted on: Wed, 08 Oct 2014 04:16:35 +0000
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