Social Anxiety in the Age of Social Media. Traditionally when you think of someone with social anxiety you would never think of someone as outspoken as me. You also wouldnt think of someone who plasters pictures of themselves and their opinions online on a daily basis. Well, theres where your perception of a socially anxious person is wrong. For me being outspoken is the way I force myself out of myself. For me posting online and on social media is my way of being social- just with the ability to read or not read the feedback on my own terms. A lot of you on my page notice I do not always comment back and probably mistake it as ungrateful for support. This is the opposite of the case. Social anxiety no longer just means youre anxious in public around a person or a crowd of people. Social now pertains to social media (direct messages, texts, etc) and technological exchanges. This is why I speak to no one lately yet post all the time. Let me explain. I have written a few statuses about my avoidance of people lately but havent quite broken it down in specifics. This is something my family notices. This is something my business colleagues notice and this is something most friends are upset with me about. My social anxiety takes form in many different ways. Phone calls, texts, messages, meeting for coffee are all equally overwhelming for me lately. I am going to start therapy to try to sort out whatever it is creating this blockage. Its debilitating in the most contradictory of ways. I am only comfortable posting things that doesnt force me to have actual conversation, if that makes any sense. This isnt an excuse. Its an actually terrifying way to feel and to not consciously know why I cant carry conversation without needing to dart out of it or simply ignore it. It has nothing to do with being disinterested in hearing from people and everything to do with my own extreme anxiety with DIRECT contact with people. For instance, I can type all of this very confessionally and respond to a comment because I know I can quickly end the back and forth in comments and skip out.. Whereas in conversation Im forced to have to have something interesting to say when I feel completely void of having anything to offer in conversation. I guess what Im trying to say is: if Im not interactive it really is ME and my own stress and anxiety. Not you. And the mixed message of me being very active online is confusing for you all, Im aware. Its just that this kind of communication comes with a distance and there is no immediate overwhelming awkwardness involved or expected from me. It says far more about how little I feel I have to offer in conversation, whereas posting a picture or a video takes little to no effort and feeling I have something to contribute to conversation or something worth reading as a response feels like a responsibility I have to live up to. Im trying to overcome this to not alienate my loved ones and hope this explanation offers insight and not seen as an excuse.. -Christopher Darren Cunningham AKA: Chris Crocker (R)
Posted on: Tue, 25 Nov 2014 06:38:04 +0000
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