Sociopaths, psychopaths and narcissists dont see the person that you really are. They see the person they want to mold you into, in order to meet their needs and fit their standards. My daughter came back from her holiday visitation with my abuser yesterday. Everything he got her was stuff that has nothing to do with who she is, and all was what he liked. He got her a red turtleneck sweater. She doesnt like red, her favorite colors are purple and blue, and stuff on her neck makes her uncomfortable due to her sensory processing disorder. And scratchy sweaters are also particularly uncomfortable for her with her disability. But red is HIS favorite color, and HE likes sweaters. He got her other clothes that were similar, all stuff that HE liked, and stuff that the person who she is will never wear. She likes dragons, and bugs, and nature, and plants. She likes purple and blue. Shes liked these things for years and its no secret. But he couldnt be bothered to get her anything for the person who she is. We are taking back the unwanted turtleneck, which must have been selected for some idealized vision of my daughter who is not who she is. And I let her pick out a dress online instead. Its blue, has a soft and comfortable neckline, and its knit which she likes. It has birds and flowers on the hem. My husband has noticed her recent interest and questions about the Superman series of movies. So he picked her up a book about Superman for her to read on the long drive back from visiting the abuser. But the real gift my husband and I are giving my daughter is seeing and acknowledging the person she is, and not trying to use gifts to mold her into something she is not.
Posted on: Sun, 04 Jan 2015 18:15:30 +0000
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