Some Thoughts On My Spiritual Journey At first I need to say that I do not see this as something separate from the rest of my life but integral to the whole as without it I would not be who I am. Unlike for many, I believe this journey of mine began a very long time before I was born. Of course, I was not aware of it then...but God was. God is my spiritual journey, the one and only and whose being and essence are difficult to explain although Im sure Ill attempt to. Yes, this spiritual journey Im on is longer than my years and God is and has been in the centre for almost as long as I can remember. I had a beautiful Evangelical Christian upbringing where both my parents were full of God and sharing him with others but in very different ways. It meant that we had a sort of Sunday School every night after dinner. We called it devotions and my dad would lead unless he wasnt at home and then my mum would take his place. I always wondered why my mum was not part of it when my dad was doing it. I think that was because mum was so much of a doer, she really did have difficulty sitting at Jesus feet like this until her later years. BUT I really didnt appreciate these after dinner times of reading a devotional book, memorizing and reviewing Scripture and prayer. I have two brothers and they never really liked them either. Im not saying these very regular times were not good for us in a way but I preferred not having them then. They took away my free reading time, and they seemed boring. I know my dad was trying to do his best for us but none of us grew to like it and we would slump during my fathers extra long prayers. I prayed basically the same thing every night and the strangest thing I have learnt from this is that, God has answered that prayer which was about the salvation of many of my relatives. My very unimaginative prayer, God actually listened to as I really did mean what I prayed even though at the time I sort of wished I was somewhere other than in prayer. I wonder if I ever was unaware of Gods presence? I do not think I was even before I actually decided to follow Jesus for myself at the age of eleven. It was then that I made a life-long decision and it was also at this time that what Jesus had done for me became clearer. It was like I had seen dimly before but then I put on some miraculous glasses that showed the truth in clarity and I wanted to grab onto this truth, Jesus, with both hands. I remember a delight in becoming Gods child in a more specific way, the freedom of knowing my Saviour. I smile at this as this delight has never left and I have never ever wanted to leave Jesus and His love assures me that He has never ever wanted to leave me. Which makes me wonder at every one else who is not aware of the presence and the love of God, those who doubt that God created this world, this universe and the God who keeps things running. How can a person be unaware of the One who is close by and understands what is in our hearts as well as counting our tears and placing them in a bucket...somewhere. One thing I am glad about most of the time is that God made me unique and regards me as very special. Im not saying that that is not true of every one of us but I am saying that I know it and am glad. And this has to do with far more than my giftings, my appearance, my abilities, my personality. But I do appreciate all of these, as well. I feel rich with His love, His gentle kindness. I appreciate who God is. I see His reflection all over the place. His creativeness is beyond compare and His love comes down to me. My love will only ever be a pale reflection of His love, but that is ok and also, here on earth, love as we experience it, as I experience it is a very dim reflection of the love we shall experience in heaven. Still, life here on earth love is important, very important. Sometimes I feel something that I should not. In this world of many other beliefs and ideas of God and no God, I sometimes feel like I need to apologize for being so clear in what I believe when so many seem unclear, uninterested, mixed-up. But surely I need not apologize. Im not saying Im better than anyone else. I know I am not, absolutely I am not. But I do want to say, please, oh please do not put me into one of your boxes. I do not want to live in a box. I want to be free from religious boxes whatever the religious label. Religion makes me sick in the sense as I dislike the walls it puts up. I spend most of my time among Muslims and am happy to do so. Some people might be happy to live in a box with other people who also live in that same box. That is not me. Anyone who comes into close proximity to me will discover one thing about me. I am passionate. It is my very nature. One thing Im passionate about is not drifting away from God. I have seen this happening to so many I know. They simply, easily roll the wrong way. They take their eyes off Jesus. Ive seen it happen to those very dear to me whose faith at one time seemed so very keen and lively but then they just drifted away. Their faith in God died, not suddenly but gradually as their minds turned to other things, these things gaining an importance and they began to believe pure lies, half lies and they no longer tred to navigate the grey area. Now I know these dear people would never think that they are lies that they are now believing, but for me, I do. It seems a wonder to me that many people try to explain away the devil and His cohorts. I do believe there is and witness good and evil and so much that seems somewhere in between. But pure evil is seen clearly. Who can doubt that?! The presence of evil can be felt. If you have not felt it yet, Im not sure where you have been living but I have come across it and it is very scary. I am glad to have God with me, Jesus to call upon who can come and sends these evil forces away. The West has been much blinder than the East. Is it still blind? Let me take you into the beautiful cool mornings where I live in Surabaya, Indonesia where the air sits lighter than later in the day. The birds are making their glorious music and all is calm. It is Sunday so we are not going for a morning walk. This is the time that Ive learnt to sit down and have my time to write and to enjoy communication specially with God. It is my time of particular awareness of Gods closeness. I often use my Bible and whatever else helps me to keep my eyes on Him. My husband keeps a distance from me on my orders as I have a tendency of speaking the gems I find to any close-by but it is also his time of meditation and reflection
Posted on: Sun, 12 Oct 2014 00:29:10 +0000
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