Some advice to newcomers to the great state of Alabama We feel it is our duty tonight to address a few remarks to you newcomers to our state. Something very strange is about to occur in Alabama. To those of us who are natives, its not strange at all, but it may come as a shock to you recent arrivals. What we speak of is the advent of the college football season. We know that football is played in other states, but its only a game in those places. In Alabama, its a way of life. From now until the final AP and UPI polls are released in January, football is the only way of life. Social events, marriages, .....yes, even funerals... will be scheduled so as not to conflict with an Alabama or Auburn game. And what happens, you ask, if a woman goes into labor only minutes before the kick-off of a big game? That simply isnt done. Alabama women-folk are taught to grin and not bear it...until after the game. Telephone calls or visits during the telecast or broadcast of games are expressly prohibited. The only exception to this rule are death messages, but only if the deceased is a member of the immediate family. Another thing you need to know. You have got to take sides...you must be for the Tigers or the Tide. We dont cotton to folks who say theyre for both teams. Even the scripture says you cant serve two masters...youve got to love one and hate the other. And dont be misled by those among us who say they are for one team but hope the other team wins every game but one. Theres one word to describe them: liars. In the closet they hope that their guys will go 12-and-0 and your guys go 0-and-12. Perhaps the best advice we can give you newcomers is this---pick the team you will be for...be absolutely obnoxious in supporting them...and by the end of the season you might well be mistaken for a native Alabamian. And thats the way we see it tonight. NOTE: Authored by Bob Ingram, former Editorial Director----WSFA News 12 September 4, 1987
Posted on: Fri, 28 Nov 2014 00:47:54 +0000
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