Some days are harder than others - like today. I remember saying to Nate that it hasn’t been a complete loss of childhood for Grayson because he was so young when he was diagnosed and didn’t know what he was missing. As he gets older and more adventurous the more difficult it is becoming for him and me. Each week he begs me over and over again to have play dates, go to school like Sophie, visit Lego Land and just do normal things like slide down the McDonalds playhouse slide. It is heartbreaking every time I have to tell him ‘No, not yet. Just two more years’. This morning he woke up sick and as I was cuddling on the couch with him rubbing his tummy, he threw up on me. He cried to me that he was so tired of feeling sick. He asked the most innocent questions to me that are so foreign to a normal child his age. ‘How long am I going to be sick?’, ‘Am I going to be sick when I’m older?’, ‘Why do I always feel like this?’, and ‘I’m so tired of being sick’. He said all of these things to me back to back, each one feeling like someone punching me harder and harder in the gut. The truth is I can’t answer him honestly but can rub his tummy and tell him ‘no, it won’t always be like this’ and ‘it’s just your medicine that is making you sick’, and ‘it’s only two more years’. Two years to Grayson? He complains when I tell him Sophie won’t be home for 2 more hours. It’s not an easy thing to see your child go through something like this, but in the end, I thank God every day that I have something to write about and someones tummy to rub. -mommy
Posted on: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 03:43:14 +0000
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