Some have Skeletons, others have Whole Cemeteries… Hello DivaRule Readers! Sorry for the day delay. However, something has been grinding the gears on the page and that is the attitude of abject judgment, freedom to attack something outside of ourselves with no regard for someone else‘s feelings. You know the stuff: side comments, statements on social media, letters to the editors, loud comments at gatherings, the eye roll in the line, the dulcet tones of “ ummm and oohhhs”, etc. We are all guilty of it and if you say you are not, I have to say with love and an elevated voice “You are not being truthful!” or as Bill M would call BS. We have all done it, slapped down judgment like a might hammer in certain circumstances in our daily activities. We have rationalized it, compartmentalized it, created legislation, heck we even feign loss of memory, when someone else has done something we have done ourselves in the past. Those of faith believe that God in his grace has put all sins into a seas of forgetfulness but you know what happens at the family gatherings or on social media. Somebody always brings up something current or brings up a event from your personal past to either correct, harass, embarrass or attack you. Take your pick we have all been there done that and have the t-shirt. Some think it is endearing, provocative, or humorous, but humorous for who? You know words start more fires than matches and yes they hurt, diminish, or cause behavior that is not healthy. You can’t define every person, so telling someone to suck it up or they are in the public eye doesn‘t take the sting away from unwarranted judgment. We don’t have a right to have access to everyone’s business. If you are still breathing and able to tell the tale, don’t hide it, set a boundary around it, tell it if you like and then keep pushing forward. An event does not define you the journey you are choosing to take at that moment, that defines you. Lets be blunt shall we, we all have skeletons in our own closets and well some of us have straight cemeteries in there. When judgment becomes a sadistic game to attack someone with attacks for entertainment or self preservation without offering any direction I always question a person’s motives. When commentary either verbal or in writing becomes so visceral in nature that people forget common manners I always wonder, what would they say about me? As they say down South, “ A person that will bring a tale will carry a tale.” Caution. I am a fan of social media area but it also has been a time of soul searching as I read some of the commentaries on cultural, faith based and political persuasions as of late. It has been shocking, eye opening, and bit painful as people’s realness is well revealed. Especially if they are an individual you knew/know personally that was doing some of the shady stuff back in the day with you. Suddenly they have become pious, inflexible, judgmental, and down right hateful, as if they were not young once and made mistakes. WE may have not had the internet but we all still do have photos, films, and notes, so again caution is the word. I’m not saying live in the past or not express yourself but the past can be a powerful tool in how you reach out to other people and help them instead of taking the easy route and attacking them. It’s also a part of being responsible for your actions. Remember we have all been victims of a judgment attack now some have become what they hated, a perpetrator of that attack method. Is that who you really are? If so, it’s time you did some self reflection, free your spirit and learn to let go. So before you post or make any more judgmental comments take a moment and remember when you looked a hot mess, acted like a hotter mess and that you were messy at one point in your life show a little compassion and less labeling. If you make a statement support it with an embrace of responsibility and encouragement. Reach out and guide not use people for target practice. Because the memories you want to create can be joyful even with a couple of bones flying out of your mouth.
Posted on: Wed, 28 Aug 2013 00:06:37 +0000
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