Some may think but never say, its almost 5 years, shouldnt you be feeling better? We deal with losing Lisa the best way we know possible...But, I think if you were to not talk to your child for a week, month, year, not see them, not talk to them, not hear their voice, or visually see them, I know you would understand where we are coming from, and five years is a drop in the bucket to the pain we feel, some of you have had the loss and know of the journey I speak of.... Jake and I feel the pain of loss, as we age and our bodies feel more tired, and because of the loss our bodies have weakened, our spirits have weakened, our desires have weakened, our insight on how important it is to be around, to help the children more than to live our lives to the fullest, and we wonder how we can keep up the pace, because we try so hard to do so much...We talked last night, briefly on how we just need to slow down, I dont remember my mom or dad playing basketball, or soccer, or doing the things we try and do with the kids...we need to slow down....Another thing is we have not put ourselves first in the almost 5 years...Every now and then I make attempts, like tennis, walking, new clothes, only to slide back.....It makes me angry when a divorce happens and they fight and fight, the most important thing to them is power, and who is right and who is wrong, when they should put the kids first....The rewards are just that rewarding, if you see Jillian you see a growing flower, blooming into the most awesome person I know, the fragrance so sweet, not to say she doesnt wilt a few petals....You see Jaiah and you see before your eyes a kindness, a sensitivity towards animals, and can easily get his feelings hurt if someone says something bad to him, one like your not a good basketball player, but we are pleased to see the progress in these children as they grow and change...Jake and I said I think we give them more direction than our parents gave us, maybe to much, so we are going to slow down....I need to remind myself every now and then to let the kids see me and my ambitions and what I am made of, but I am dwindling on that ambitions thing...I still dont see how what God let happen that a better plan was in the works, yes even after almost 5 year....to a mother and a father the sadness still lingers, and the pain of loss is still there, but thankfully we have the opportunity to be around Lisas 2 Angels....tired, exhausted, trying to keep up, trying to slow down....the village that is suppose to be around these kids I feel is almost on permanent vacation...but to some family and to some very kind friends, those who step up and help, to those villagers who go above and beyond, I say thank you....mom....gran
Posted on: Thu, 10 Jul 2014 13:47:52 +0000
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