Some #micropoetry for the castle of Titus Beakface Our flag flies the face of Ellen Page For she embraces all our values With wide, encompassing arms The parapets are made of ice As if winter had come across the walls And frequently chipped away and replaced To fuel our gin and tonics Which, incidentally, fills the moat (Alongside somewhat squiffy kraken And tiny, drunken sharks). The lab is a place of wonder and despair Ruled by a raptor in a lab coat Whose automatons of chainmail Beckon to her every whim And if she likes you she will hang you from the ceiling For science. Gravity is strictly optional And we will float across our opulent halls Exchanging witticisms and song Bumping into padded buttresses and each other Good morning, Baron, lovely antigravity today, what? We will be served by an army of owls In adorable little bow ties or top hats Who will bring us tea, crumpets, hot water bottles And the bodies of our enemies As required. The kitchen will be a den of food-witchery Where the Arch-Chef summons tastes That will do alchemy on your taste buds And performs feats of baking magery So decadent and debauched the townspeople will riot at the smell. The walls are covered in blankets Cunningly disguised as murals depicting our triumphs in battle and snugglery Easily torn down for cuddles and/or forts With our favourite books embroidered on the reverse. The library is bigger on the inside The tomes inside know all the wisdom and wonder of the world And will sing it to you in dry, rustling voices If you can safely navigate the traps (Weve lost three guests in there already We hope theyre having a good time). Just stepping inside increases your pulchritude by 20% Increases your cuddle-osity by 10 points And heightens you yo dangerous levels of urbane. Awesome factor 9, engage! Now, the owl butlers would like to see your invitation (fear them)...
Posted on: Fri, 07 Nov 2014 10:11:22 +0000
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