Some of us hold ourselves to very high standards, and this is often something we’re born with or been conditioned to have, so it’s pretty much an endemic part of our being. However, this often translates to imposing those same high benchmarks onto others, and when they fall short of our expectations, we may find ourselves frequently shaken by bouts of impatience, frustration, and conflict with others. The problem here is not our high standards. But when we allow the shortcomings of others to affect us negatively, and we are spontaneously and regularly driven to anger or aggression because of them, we ourselves may be at the losing end. If you’re a “perfectionist”, it’s likely that you are irked in equal measure by both major and minor mistakes. And while it may be worth losing our heads pursuing the bigger ones, you’ll probably find that ultimately, you would’ve been better off letting the smaller ones pass. When we allow insignificant or inconsequential details to madden us, we may act in ways that later end up hurting us instead. And for what? Looking back, was it really worth it? Does that person even appreciate our efforts? Did we really make the big picture a better one? Or did it remain obdurate and unaffected? Did we inadvertently make it worse? On hindsight, did we burn down our house to get rid of a rat? When we set high standards for ourselves and others, it’s often with the aim of making ourselves and others better in some way. We have very strong convictions about how things and people should be in order to do well in life. And though that is a noble vision, there is much in life we can’t control. When we hurtle towards a goal with little or no regard for other factors, we may score full points for passion and determination, but not much else.
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 08:03:08 +0000
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