Some parents go gender neutral, but for me and my wife, thats never seemed practical in a world that is so far from neutral. Other parents simply ban things they dont like: guns for boys, pink or princesses for girls. I emotionally like the idea of bans, but worry that they might induce rebellion and backlash. Another tactic is to embrace the power of choice, making sure to have multiple options in every situation. Thats what we tried at first, filling our house with choices. Pink, blue, green, red. Cars and dolls. Superheroes and tiaras. At first, it seemed to work so well. Our daughter put a princess doll on a dragon so the doll could soar over the world, filled with power. Once, she put on a hand-me-down Snow White outfit, grabbed a shovel and went out to dig for worms. We limited access to commercials on television, watched her creativity blossom, and thought we had this parenting thing figured out. We were so wrong. Once she started school, restrictive ideas about gender started popping up. I knew we were in trouble when, at dinner, she asked for a pink plate because, pink is a girls color. It was time to change tactics. Today, our strategy is to promote whatever option runs counter to the dominant norms. Its more aggressive than just providing choice. Its more realistic than trying to be gender neutral. Its softer and subtler than outright bans on pink. And theres nothing wrong with pink! Its just that in America, girls are taught that they have to pick it. So we always put the alternative forward, gently working against the grain. … When Ellie came home from school that first day, I asked her about her new backpack. She said, Well, one boy asked me whether it was actually a boys backpack, but I said no. Its my backpack. So far, so good. huffingtonpost/david-m-perry/how-backtoschool-shopping-reinforces-gender-norms_b_5709135.html?utm_hp_ref=tw
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 11:30:00 +0000
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