Some typical questions Indians Are Sick Of Answering (especially from US & UK). 1. “What caste are you?” Answer: I have chosen to CASTE aside antiquated means of social stratification. 2. “How come your English is so good?” Answer: I’m from the country with the second-largest English-speaking population in the world. You? “So, do you speak Hindu?” Answer: Yeah, very fluently. And I can speak in Muslim and Christian too. 3. “Do people in India really sing and dance all the time like in Bollywood movies?” Answer: Yup, Totally. Just like people in America constantly get attacked by extraterrestrial forces of evil and then saved by leagues of superheroes. (I wonder why these evil forces only choose the US and why only US saves the world everytime) 4. “Is Diwali your Christmas?” Answer: Buh! Kill me... Now! 5. “And what’s that other holiday where you throw the colors? I love that one.” Answer: HOLI shit, you dumb. 5. “Are you a dot Indian or a feather Indian?” Answer: Depends. Are you a dot ignoramus or a feather ignoramus? 6. “Everyone basically does tech support, yeah?” Answer: Yup, 1 billion people, all day, every day, answering phone calls from America. 7. “Why do you need sooo many gods?” Answer: They give me the patience and spiritual fortitude to keep from punching ignorant people. 8. “Hey, you Indians are good in maths. can you help me with this math?” Answer: I don’t even know enough math to count all the racist assumptions you’ve made today. 9. “No offense, but like…what’s the third world like?” Answer: I rode an elephant to school every day and Mowgli was my classmate. 10. “Have you ever ridden on top of a train?” Answer: Only when my elephant was broken and my camel was at the garage.
Posted on: Sat, 12 Jul 2014 11:21:32 +0000
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