Somebody To Love BJFerguson Whether or not one loves, is rarely an option of one’s own choosing. People are fond of saying we must open ourselves to love…we must be willing to love; but is it really as simple as that? Ah, but nothing brings out the clichéd advice more than the mere mention of love. In truth, love is, as most of us certainly discover not long into our teenaged angst, elusive and difficult to identify. Few of us are built love-ready, as we venture forth, scurrying about, searching for identity of both, our own soul and our soul’s mate. Such a daunting task, indeed! And it doesn’t get any easier, as the years go by. Nonetheless, we do keep at it, in spite of the failures, regardless of the pain, even ignoring our natural defenses, which tell us, once burned-twice learned, as they try to steer us away from the pursuit of love, simply as a matter of survival. Why, though? What makes us want love so much so, that we ignore every bit of common sense and learned wisdom that our life has garnered, and continue to seek that which will, most likely, only leave us broken and abandoned, as weeping, we find ourselves once again alone and doubting our own worth? Some insist our need for love stems from a desperate need not to be alone….not to die alone. While I believe this applies for some, I think most of us would agree that such desperation would mean more of us would settle for whatever had the appearance of love, and not keep seeking love, disappointment after disappointment. Some say humans are simply too tactile of beings, to live without love. I submit that being touched, held, made love to, is not, in fact love. And while it does fill the need for tactile satisfaction, if it was all we humans needed, prostitution would, not only be legal, but it would be covered by most HMOs. Love is something that grants us validation, I think. I believe we feel love for someone, and if they love us back, we find a sense of belonging, as well as, a sense of justification, for taking up space in the world. In love we find acceptance from someone….but more importantly, from our own self. Being loved, honestly, allows us to believe we deserve to exist. Likewise, when we love, we lend credence to the life of those we love. I may be wrong….(I quite often am) but I think we seek love for many reasons….but mostly, as a means of validating our own life. This may sound pathetic to some, and I don’t at all mind if someone disagrees with my theory. I also believe all of us have our own needs, our very own desires, and none of us can honestly speak for anyone but his or herself…or in general. But, I have given this a great deal of thought, over the years, and it makes a good deal of sense to me, so I’m sticking with it. I’m reminded of an old Dean Martin song, “You’re Nobody, Till Somebody Loves You” and how, as a very young girl, I thought that the dumbest notion. Now, having gone through all the good and bad aspects of love, I think I know exactly what Dear old Dino was singing about…..Perhaps you do, too. youtu.be/y9z63wXCgz8
Posted on: Wed, 24 Sep 2014 13:39:36 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015