Something really beautiful happened this week. Im hoping that finally the aimlessness and feeling of never belonging might hopefully end soon. Something really important is happening this afternoon. Im about 98.999999998% positive that Im on my way. Theres so much to look forward to. Im so close to where I expected to be by the time I was 25 and I just cant afford to let myself down. Its not worth it. Im really afraid of missing something that matters. I dont want to miss some positive opportunities coming to/from myself that involve my responsibility and my own internal/vocational area of my life that might be just around the corner. It does suck to have to be left waiting for opportunities to fall from the sky for 15 years straight. As a grown man, its pretty horrific to be that aimless and to be searching that hard. I just really hope this is my time. Im ready to have to wait and to pretend that its like the kind of slowness or tediousness that one would normally expect from- just to make a comparison- a dry and unexciting bureaucratic entity. Taking that into account, and being able to roll with the punches more easily when I make that comparison to opportunities that Id like to put out there, I really cant give up. I cant cave. I cant lie in bed all day and wonder where I might be going or where I might go. Im feeling very confident. More positive things are coming and out of some accidents and faults of my own and unique circumstances, Ive been able to learn more about myself. Ive been able to learn more about the ways I could be more consistent and thoughtful to my genuine friends and Ive been able to plan more accordingly. Ive got more hope, even in my most miserable moments when I feel like Im still waiting on a miracle (because my life-circumstances have just placed me pretty much all the way behind for a time). I realize how much determination has to do with some of the subtle things that mean a lot to me that Ive finally achieved this year that quite a few people take for granted. So, Im very hopeful. Well see what happens. https://youtube/watch?v=mfUpn6pJFrs
Posted on: Tue, 30 Dec 2014 22:36:51 +0000
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