Something to think about. *Shared from Jerry Sharpe* FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH: 1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA...... FLOOR. 2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION. 3. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, WHERES THE SELF- HELP SECTION? SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE. 4. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS? 5. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP? 6. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION? 7. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM? 8. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL? 9. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT? 10. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES? 11. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK? 12. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION TOILETS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM? 13. IF A TURTLE DOESNT HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED? 14. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS? 15. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT? 16. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS? 17. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DONT TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. 18. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA? 19. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR? 20. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO? 21. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY? 22. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE? 23. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD LISP TO HAVE S IN IT? 24. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CANT SHOOT AT THEM? 25. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM? 26. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED? 27. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD? 28. WHY DO SHOPS HAVE SIGNS, GUIDE DOGS ONLY? THE DOGS CANT READ AND THEIR OWNERS ARE BLIND.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Nov 2014 04:57:03 +0000
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