Sometimes.... I just cry. I dont know why Im an emotional person, but I just am. I wonder if my extreme emotions stem from my passion.... my passion for life. Since I was a child, my tear ducts have often lost the battle with my emotions. Yes, I have cried alot throughout my life. I can cry from a song, a movie, a book, over the death of a loved one, from the way I view the world, and sometimes..... well sometimes, I cry because Im happy. Sometimes my eyes just fill up, and I can control my tears from falling. And Ive never cared about who was/is around when I cry, because Ive never cared about someone considering me weak because I cry. Well last night, I was by myself on the 695 beltway coming from a cake delivery. As I was driving, Optimistic by Sounds of Blackness started playing on the radio. Now.... I listen to this song often. But last night, I was by myself!! So I cranked that jam to full blast!! But last night, I absorbed the lyrics differently than I have in the past. And then out of nowhere, I began to cry. I began to cry hard. Then I began to thank God. I began to thank God HARD!! And the more I thanked Him, the more I cranked up the volume. I became so overwhelmed with joy, that I felt like I was having church while driving down the beltway of Baltimore. And one lyric kept resonating through my mind. During the breakdown, Ann Nesby says one word that described how I felt. She said, Whewwwwww!! Whewwwwww is how some of us feel when we know how good God has been to us. Im slightly embarrassed to tell you this, but I rewound back to that 2 second portion of the song about 5 or 6 times. Because at that moment last night, I felt the Whewwwwww from the Holy Spirit moving through my body. During the 5+ minutes that that song played, I reflected on how good God is, and how far He had brought me. He always gives me reminders of loving and merciful that He is. Five years ago, I was going through the most humbling experience of my life. I dont know why God chose 2009 to be my lifes greatest challenge, but He saw fit for me to that time. I mid/late 2009, I couldnt find a job. I couldnt even find a job a minimum paying job!! When I finally found a job, the pay was meager. When I saw my first pay check, after working two 40 hour weeks, I cried. I cried because I knew that I wasnt gonna survive, if I continued to receive this type of pay. (Now fast forward to present day....) A few days ago, we delivered work to a customer. This customer ALWAYS tells me that I undercharge for our work. After paying the balance for her cake, she gives me a LARGE tip. How large was her gratuitous gesture? Her tip was MORE than my first check from my job in 2009. And how large was her full payment? I would have to work 1 month (at my job in 2009), to equal the amount she gave me for the one days work I put in for her cake. I cried last night, because I was again witnessing and experiencing Gods love. He built up the broke kid from 2009, to the man that he is today. Last night I cried the tears of joy. Tears of overcoming and persevering. Tears of man with a past.... a past that I didnt look at in my rear view mirror, while riding down 695 last night. Happy tears. Tears that God gave me. God hasnt just improved me financially. He has improved me physically, psychologically, and spiritually. He has softened my heart and made me more wise. He has made me more compassionate. He has made me more loving. He has made me the man that Ive always wanted to be. So last night when I began to cry, when I heard Ann Nesby say one lyric, Whew..., I was exhaling with her, as to say, THANK YOU LORD!!! Yes I cry..... the tears of an undeserving sinner. Yet He is merciful. Perhaps you can understand. Amen. #YesICry #Whewwww
Posted on: Tue, 09 Dec 2014 15:51:59 +0000
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