Sometimes i wanna give up on most of my dreams and hopes, as i see most are too far for me to reach or accomplish. To finally let go on so many feelings that i have for people who just take every effort or show of friendship/affection for granted. To give up on life as i have stopped seeing it as adventurous, mysterious or even worth while as i once saw it, when it all was awe and not just a place filled with hatred, bigotry and useless wars. A time when the words of freedom and opportunity actually meant something when i first arrived here, now everyone shames my culture and others because they yearn for a better life from what they had back home but have no means to pay the highly expensive fees or time to get this residency, now it seems my american dream is for nothing. It seems that no matter where i might live it all has become stale and dried up, my once fresh paints and new supplies have all but dried up and fallen apart, i have lost the desire and willingness to create and to paint in my life. I have no inspiration, the mountains with snow and pines adorning them nor the rivers and animals around me give me the sensation of being at home, being wanted, loved or alive. Perhaps it is not location that i seek for my art, but rather faces, familiar faces that is. Those that brimmed with happiness and warmth, the faces that warmed me during winter nights and embraces that relaxed my being during my darkest days. Whose voices calmed me and lulled me to a state of peace and serenity, voices who gave me hope and new paints for my art. Perhaps THAT is the reason i have not yet given up. Because i give my best of efforts to work with these dried up paints and broken supplies, so that one day i will show these people who have all stuck to me through my grayest days to days i could not stop painting, what they all have helped me inspired me to be. A better artist, a better more positive person, but above all. A better friend. Thank you all for being there for me. And if you read everything, thank you, it means a lot.
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 06:14:24 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015