Sometimes, pictures are the easiest ways to describe the feelings and the best ways to look back on the memories- happy or sad. I have shared these with only few, but now years later I have grasped that these pictures are all I have left. Today would have been her 5th birthday.... My how time goes so fast. I have always been one that is a fairly open book; this is something that as of late, I have realized I have so many friends that have gone through something similar. Looking at these pictures, I realize at 19 I didt fully grasp what was happening. All I knew at this point in time was that the very same day Maya was born, she was taken from us. I had feelings of sadness and anger and above all, confusion. There were so many ups and downs throughout this whole period in my life. I had moved out to Denver to spend time with my mother, she was in and out of the doctors offices and was finally put on bed rest. Still, at this point, I was not able to grasp the density of what was going on. My life seemed like it was a non stop pitfall. For, just two months prior, I had lost one of my closest friends. She had been one of the few I confided in about what was going on in my life. We were inseparable for a few short months to say the least. Now, five years later, I have my daughter. She has been able to give me so much more insight and understanding to what I had gone through, even more what my mom and step-father had gone through on August 29, 2009. I didnt understand the depth of it all, I still probably never will, as I keep learning new things and gaining new emotions as each year passes. I keep telling myself that if it werent for many events to have occurred, I would never be where I am today. With an amazing family of my own and a baby girl who I have believed to have helped us all heal a little bit more. Our love for those who have passed will never fade out, our minds will always hold onto every bit of memory that we can, and our hearts will keep healing year by year. I now know the intense emotion of having a child, I could not even begin to understand the loss of one. No matter where life leads us, I wanted to take this day to say I love my family very much.
Posted on: Fri, 29 Aug 2014 14:20:13 +0000
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