Sometimes when Im alone I just cry. I dont get much alone time - TopicsExpress



          

Sometimes when Im alone I just cry. I dont get much alone time because Im always caring for Kaysen. I take my alone time and I just talk to God. I cry for how I used to be and how much of a different person I was. Why did it take this to happen to me to realize how I wasnt doing right by God. I cry for my mistakes, I think about where I was 6weeks ago, that very moment in my life how bad I hurt as a mother. I seen my son fight for his life. I felt his pain from that very moment. I held him and prayed for God to give him a second chance, I had to stay strong as I saw him almost bleed to his death. I held him as he could have taken his last breath in my arms. From that moment till the ambulance got to the scene, from me sittin at the ER Trauma Center waiting for 7hrs and everytime a different doctor came out, your heart stops and you hope that your son is still alive. Bad news, after bad news we got and each time I thought why? I thought about what would be the outcome of this day. Will he ever be normal again, will he remember me? Will he walk and talk again, will he look the same???? 6weeks and here we are today. The doctors didnt think he would make it, cat scans, MRIs, surgeries...my son has been through so much than I ever imagined he would. Hes been through more than most kids his age. But what Ive learned is that living in the hospital Ive seen other kids and families feel the same hurt that Konner and I did. We see things like this happen everyday but we have no idea what it feels like until it actually happens to someone you love, let alone your child. We take things for granted everyday not knowing this could be YOU! I pray for EVERYONE and their families that are sick, disabled, have cancer, have no families or any support, people that are going through hard times alone. It is hard! We have support, prayer and encouragement all around us and even still, it is hard! Despite what the doctors said Kaysen is almost EXACTLY the same kid he was before the accident, he has picked up exactly where he left off as a growing toddler. He talks, walks, eats finger foods and feeds himself, sings and dances, independent. Its a miracle and I pray and pray and pray everyday! I thank God for what has happened. Kaysen has had a very fast recovery for such a traumatic accident and its all thanks to God. The pain I felt is indescribable I cant imagine how he felt. I one day soon would like to write a book about our story and the love a mother has for her child. He fought for himself, and he fought for us as his parents. I have been reborn again, and I AM A CHILD OF GOD! I am by far from perfect, but I live everyday to become a better person for him and for my family. Please take what I say and use it in your life as a tool, remember my words and take what happened to me as an example love God before its too late, because you may not get the second chance that God gave me!
Posted on: Wed, 09 Jul 2014 05:33:22 +0000

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