Sometimes you have so many friends you dont have any at all. So I did a Facebook Friends purge, and I finally understand that its really not personal. I went from 1,044 to 415. I should feel really sad that I lost 629 friends in one day...but instead I feel more free. My criteria for keeping people? Interaction. Classmates. Family. Team building I didnt have any malice when I let people go. Not a drop. I just asked myself: Would I recognize them on the street? This happened with my friend, Rachel. We met once a couple years ago, shared lots of comments on Facebook, then ran into each other in public and I had NO clue who she was. I felt awful. I felt like Id failed her and let her down and didnt deserve to be connected to her. I was sure shed go home and unfriend me, which made me sad because I liked her views. Thankfully she kept me and now Im keeping an eye on her profile and hoping to build a more real life friendship, too. :) Would I know ANYTHING about their life if it werent for Facebook? I mean, would I? Do I have to stalk FB profiles to find out they are going through a divorce? Because if Im not someone they reach out to during that critical time, then why do I deserve to know the intimate details of their life, see pictures of their kids, and know when they are suffering? Would I notice that they were gone? Someone I care about deleted me two years ago and I just noticed last week. That was a clue to me that Facebook, while it has a great place to connect, is NOT a substitute for real interaction. And it can cause us to take for granted people who we really would like to keep in our lives, but make little effort to do so. So, 629 people...all wonderful in their own right...have either not interacted with me in several years, or are connected to me primarily for business reasons, or maybe friended me when they saw me singing somewhere...and theyre more of a fan than a friend. And given that I use Facebook as a pseudo-journal...and show pictures of me nursing my kids...and rant about politics and parenting...then if someone isnt REALLY all that interested in ME, Im just likely to offend them without them understanding my views. Several of my very best friends have totally opposing views about my religion, politics or parenting style (Delia, Jessica, Abby, Erin, Dawn, Brett, Bianca, Tina, John) but they love me enough to stick around and know ALL of me...not just one facet. And same for them...I could completely disagree with something they believe...but I love them fiercely enough to embrace our differences. (If you werent mentioned, its because we dont fight enough.) :) They ADD to my life with their opposing views...not detract from it. They make me think. They challenge me. They push my buttons. They irritate me. But who ever moved in any direction without an outside force...Newton proved that fact in physics. So, Im making this a public post. Because I want people who may eventually notice that Im not in their friends list to know two things: Its NOT personal at all You did nothing wrong. You didnt offend me. Nothing happened. Im not mad. And if you want to reconnect, please message me and lets get back in touch. Its just been too long, or I didnt fall on your radar enough for it to make sense to keep throwing my views into your Newsfeed. Maybe we met a year ago, or a decade ago, or have a mutual friend, or we were in a super happy mood one day and clicked Request to just about every Facebook suggestion. Thats all fine...but that NOT real relationship. Now, some naysayers will point out that I still have a huge list. Well...my dad is a Mormon...I have about 150 people on his side of the family alone. And then another 60 or so on my moms side. I have about 40 high school classmates and some college friends. I have people Ive met over the years who contribute to my posts even when we havent seen each other in years...or ever in some cases (Sharz..e on now, seriously!) And I kept some people who routinely piss me off and challenge me...because I know that it takes sunshine AND rain to grow.
Posted on: Sat, 09 Aug 2014 17:35:35 +0000
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