Somewhere in a different world, before facebook statuses served as communications, we wrote letters. If you grew up Christian you know that this was often during Christmastime. A holiday letter with tales of the year past and promises of the future. A bit like Dickens holiday ghosts, only the prose is a lot worse, and the subtext a little harder to ferret out. This dear and gentle reader promises to mirror that along with the classic that is the New Years resolution. This was an unusual year, but that is the usual, isn’t it? If you’re having the same thing ad infinitum well your life is probably not all that interesting. 2014 started with the death of my father, which guarantees it’s going to be weird. This wasn’t the first time someone close to me has died, in fact it was all too common occurrence, but it’s different when it’s a parent, and more so it’s my dad. We did not not have an…easy relationship. Still I miss his calls, his chaos and his strange optimism. He was a man who saw opportunity behind every bend in the road, even when the map showed rather clearly it wasn’t opportunity, it was a Denny’s. I took time this year to sleep, to grieve, to give thanks, and shake an angry fist heavenward. I came out about having anxiety and depression, which I think helped some people, not to mention myself. The last few years seemed like one crisis to the next; 2014 wasn’t. Oh it had its high stress moments, but shops weren’t closing, bodies weren‘t failing (well mine at least), it gave me time to be introspective, all the while not trying to spend to much time looking into the void. In the last three months I probably listened to more music than I had in the previous three years, I wanted to find the spark that ignited me to begin with. It’s a thing that can get easily lost in the forest fire of hype in which we are surrounded. 2014 brought a lot of amazing moments, and many of them with my band of brothers Paris1919. In particular Antarctica at Public Functionary, a piece that came out two weeks after the above death, and about 3 years after I wrote it. Sometimes we know in a moment when things are “defining” when everything changes, Antarctica was one of those, a clip on the highlight reel that is one of those career-defining plays, Of course that and quarter will get you a phone call… that is assuming you can find a payphone. Paris also did a new film score, commissioned by the folks at Wizard World for the Mpls Comic Con, the first time they ever did anything like that, and then Safe as Houses, a monumental undertaking that set the bar a bit higher. Its worth mentioning the amazing people that are part of that team from the band itself: Erick, Michael , Randall, Drew, Timothy, Mykl, , Eric and the mighty David J Russ who is just a superhero. I am so stupidly fortunate to be in the company of these great musicians, but almost more importantly great men. I would be remiss if i didnt include Tony who has stepped in to help manage the chaos that is any production of mine, Christopher who helps to build the language from “Strouthese” to English, and doesnt get to mad when i take forever to get back to him. There are my other lives to and other thanks like my long-suffering editor at Gimme Noise: Reed who takes my prose and makes it look reasonable to the kids and aging hipsters alike, and doesnt get too angry when i promise to write something and then disappear for a month. My friend and employer Dan at Stand Up! Records who always gives the most interesting of challanges. There is of course Andrew, he who deals with the million and one mundane tasks from tackling the MT Fuji of Cd’s to researching subjects both profound and arcane, its not always the most exciting of jobs, but i am so glad that your a part of it. There are others that should be mentioned and probably arent but these are just some of the folks that helped to make my 2014. It was a good year, and my resolution is to make 2015 a better one. I believe the best resolutions are the promises that you make to yourself, quiet prayers and promises- that if you speak them aloud, could break their spell. There is a G.K. Chesterton quote that I half love- “The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective.” I think we have to start anew, but with an understanding of who we are and what we have done, drop last year’s limitations, and push past the liabilities of previous successes. Informed by prior victories but not defined by them. There is a line I misheard in the Dave Clark 5 song “Catch Us If You Can”- “We were young with all of our might.” It’s a much more poetic line than the actual, and that is a promise I always try to live up too. Not only trying to live the most out of life, but to find beauty and wisdom in the day to day, and even sometimes the misheard. I promise in 2015, to do more, to be a better friend, a better partner, a better husband and a better person, to do more music, more writing, more art, and maybe just maybe a return to film. To cut myself some slack (just not too much). And I promise that I am going to kick 2015’s ass.
Posted on: Tue, 06 Jan 2015 02:42:50 +0000
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