Soon the shadow of Satans power will shroud our nation in darkness and candy. True believers, now is the time to prepare your bowl of stones by the door and get ready for the devils holiday: Halloween. Just the other day, I was trying to buy some groceries and I saw a woman in the check out lane buying a childs witch costume. “What kind of heathen scum would let their child dress up as a devil worshiper?!”I asked with the proper amount of righteousness in my voice. She scoffed at me and replied, “Ill have you know I am a Wiccan, and you are a bigoted jerk!” Now that she had revealed her true identity as a servant of Satan, the Spirit of God empowered me as I stoned her in check out aisle five. As she gasped for her last heathen breath, I read the passage from Exodus 22:18 that says you shall not suffer a witch to live to those standing around in awe of Gods Word in action. Knowing that the police would follow the wisdom of man and arrest me, I exited through the back after quickly handing out some Chick tracts. -Literal Bible Man
Posted on: Wed, 01 Oct 2014 06:31:48 +0000
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