Sorry #ImranKhan, we clever Pakstanis refuse to believe a single word you say - We all hold the power to peer into the deepest depths of your soul & know for a fact that you are nothing but a terrorist-sympathising lunatic out to enforce taliban-style sharia on all of us (the kind that #BenazirBhutto helped enforce and legitimise in Afghanistan with our own military establishment) and you secretly dream of becoming the Ameer-ul-momineen of Al-Bakistan (like #NawazSharif almost succeeded in becoming in past). When you talk about doing peace deals with militants (like ANP & PPP actually did in Swat, and Musharraf actually did in Waziristan), you are saying so NOT because you want to give peace a chance, deny the militants more recruits for their twisted cause, and solve the problem with less bloodshed and less civilians & soldiers martyred, but ONLY because you secretly want to stab us in the back and whip us all to death in medieval sharia-courts after the deal is done, you sly devil! Like all other international human-rights organisations, your phoney concern for the well-being of the mostly innocent folk of Tribal Areas who have nothing to do with terrorism of a few thousand local & foreign militants is obvious for all to see, just as your phoney concern for the rest of the underprivileged folk of Pakistan. Yes, we know all those cancer hospitals and universities were just a gimmick to win votes and gain our trust. All the money went in your pocket anyways - its so bloody obvious. You never condemn terrorists and their acts openly (only closedly in press conferences with the mic turned off you evil genius) which means you have zero concern for OUR victims of terror. We lost countless precious lives in OUR cities, SO WHAT if some innocent Tribal men, women and children get killed or displaced when we send in our military? Their number of dead can never reach anywhere near OUR number of dead can it? Besides their lives and well-being mean little or nothing in the grand scheme of things - because they are not even real Pakistanis you know. Plus they all talk, look and dress exactly like the terrorists do, and the terrorists live among them, so case closed! Its their OWN fault - If they werent sooo guilty, WHY did the women and children not lynch the gun-wielding terrorists hiding in their midst huh? And yes OF COURSE if a potential terrorist was hiding in MY neighbourhood in Lhr or Khi and a heavenly drone-strike took him out but accidentally took out MY child or parent next door as well, it would be absolutely fine, mistakes like these do happen a few times you know, it was all for a good cause, they didnt even have to ask my permission or evacuate us from the area. Im sure the POTENTIAL terrorist mustve done something real bad in the past OR worse, he might have killed many more innocent civilians by triggering a bomb or something at the very exact moment when he was killed, we could not have waited any longer for divine justice! Your phoney concern is just a cover - your real objective is ensuring that the militant groups which our own deep state has been nurturing for decades and never apologised for it once, finally take over the country and become our masters, you two-faced snake! As for your open condemnation of TTP/ASWJ/LeJ terrorists by name and saying that militant groups fighting purely for ideological reasons that refuse to lay down their arms despite talks should be eliminated by force, yes we know you accidentally left your mic switched on then, but you did not say it with enough decibels and adjectives to our liking, plus you did not say it on our favourite TV talk shows (the ultimate source of all Truth), You even wrote articles explaining it clearly before, but we only read posh newspapers like Express Tribune, so good try. Plus you forgot that liberal-secular PPP/ANP sympathising jiyala journalists in the free press also write completely unbiased opinion pieces and tweet about you all the time, so we will naturally have to believe them, they repeat the truth so many times you know - after that its the gospel. So damn you #ImranKhan, go back to your cave and grow your beard, and wear your I heart Bin-Ladin T-shirt already. Stop taking Pakistan back to the stone age! We want #BabyBhutto in his Ajrak superman costume to rescue us once again. He is not Buzdil like you because he has Rahman Malik running his security, blocking all telecommunications in a 100-mile radius around him, and he will never ever put his neck out of a bullet-proof car or step out of a fool-proof security zone. And he will never ever give in to the demands of extremists (like Grandad #ZAB did by giving in to the Mullahs) and never ally himself with right-wing political parties (like Mother Benazir did by allying with Diesels JUI & giving stamp of approval to the good ol Afghan Taliban ). Plus his sister can rap like Eminem! You almost fooled us, you lying hypocrite… Disclaimer: Satire - in case you didnt get it..
Posted on: Wed, 19 Feb 2014 01:38:13 +0000