Sorry for the long update but, as the saying goes, One step forward, two steps back. That describes whats going on with Mike on a couple of levels. Yesterdays mobility and mental clarity vanished overnight, beginning around 1 am when he got out of bed without waiting for me and fell to the floor in the bathroom. Its impossible for me to lift him directly from the floor, and once again he couldnt figure out how to get his hands and knees under himself to reach a position that I could lift him from. It took about 10 minutes but we got him into a standing position, at which point he was just lurching all over the place, bouncing off walls, and slapping my hands away when I tried reaching to help him. The same thing happened at 3 and 6 am, though by that point our son was up so going back to bed wasnt an option for me as it was for Mike. Based on the messages in my InBox, I think I should address a few questions people keep asking. Bear with me. 1. Why dont you sleep downstairs with him? Because there is only room for a futon sofa, and I have horrible sciatica along with arthritis. I am in agony when I sleep on the sofa or in a recliner, and that means I cant help Mike at ALL the next day. I find it curious that the person who suggests this solution most often has back issues herself and wouldnt dream of sleeping on an uncomfortable bed due to them. 2. Why dont you move Mike to the main floor? There are a number of reasons, not the least of which is that hospice agrees the finished basement is the best location since it has a bathroom already fitted with safety rails just 6 steps from Mikes bed, along with a kitchen area. Were he on the main floor, wed have to take him downstairs for showers. But, most importantly, were he on the main floor hed try walking around all over by himself, including to the garage to smoke every 30 minutes, and there are MANY more sharp surfaces and dangerous spots likely to injure him in a fall upstairs. 3. Why dont you use respite care? Insurance doesnt cover a hospice worker to stay overnight unless hes in a medical crisis. This isnt considered to be one. It does not cover a nursing home stay for respite, though the hospice group offered to cover the costs because I so desperately need a break. Unfortunately, nursing homes wont accept Mike since hes insistent on being ambulatory but poses such a very great fall risk. They couldnt even use restraints on him because hes coherent enough to remove them... and then get out of bed and injure himself. They dont want that liability. 4. Why dont you have a friend come stay with him? We tried that. (See Dec. 8s entry.) When people realize they have to practically carry him between his chair and the bathroom, then help him on and off with his pants AND perform some other hygiene-related duties, they tend to feel overwhelmed. Believe me, I feel the same way. One possible bright note: Mikes mother told me shes coming on Sunday and hasnt decided how long shell be staying. Shes going to be at a hotel but plans to come sit with him. Unfortunately, she has back and knee issues, too, so she wont be able to help him walk, hold on to him while helping him with his pants in the bathroom, or pick him up when he falls. And since hell get out of his chair or bed even when told repeatedly not to, I cant leave her here with him while I go places or theyre both likely to get hurt. But shell be able to keep him company while he watches TV... and maybe I can catch a nap.
Posted on: Wed, 10 Dec 2014 16:41:34 +0000
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