Soul – Lutions “All the Moving Parts - Life, Love, Insecurity and Aging Parents” “And so our mothers and grandmothers have, more often than not anonymously, handed on the creative spark, the seed of the flower they themselves never hoped to see – or like a sealed letter they could not plainly read.” -Alice Walker I am waiting for a phone call tonight as I write this and here is what I was thinking – resentment - such a poisonous way to live. Sometimes we have to change our footwear. It means you have to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, at least in your brain. Remember all you can about a person and each scene that plays out in your head as you recall it. Imagine how that person might have felt, how and why they responded as they did in those moments? What kind of belief system the other person might have been taught? Actually, I was thinking about parents tonight, mothers in particular. We tend to forget that our parents, at least mine, were raised during a different time when they didn’t have the knowledge… Sometimes, if we just give the other person a break and realize, they are fallible human beings as we all are. My parents were not perfect; none of us are. So often we forget that other people have feelings and history, too, that have made them who they are. Understanding is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves. Sometimes we sit back and wonder why life turned out as it did in those pensive moments. There are times we get comfortably numb to get through our lives. You have to make your own choices and reconnecting isn’t always the best possible thing for you as a person. It isn’t immoral to take care of oneself. We all accept there is an enduring bond between parent and child no matter what your childhood may or may not have been. What to do? Dig deep and always honor your best, highest self. People don’t live forever. Just when everything seems to be going right, someone or something throws a monkey wrench into life. Stay committed to your decisions but stay flexible in your approach. There may be people trying to convince you of their point-of-view. You have your own. The best way to get them to listen to you and really hear you is to listen to them and really hear what they have to say. Then try to understand what the other person is thinking and feeling. If you understand where they are coming from, you can frame your thoughts and your words more appropriately. Showing you care about another person’s feelings is a sign of respect and when you give respect, you get it back. Here is what I know for sure. Make peace with your past and things that have bothered you for a long, long time. You may think you have moved beyond it, but something in your past will always follow you. Remember, it affects the choices you make, your relationships and your goals for the future. Don’t let it involve guilt, regret or anger. If these feelings are present then you really haven’t dealt with them at all. What would you like to change? It doesn’t have to burden you any longer. I believe God is managing my affairs and yours tonight. He doesn’t need any advice from me. He doesn’t need any advice. With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. Mom I am thinking of you tonight. Written with love. Copyright © Joy M. Mills
Posted on: Thu, 16 Jan 2014 04:16:11 +0000
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