> Southern cops have a way with words! > > These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos: > 1. You know, stop lights dont come any redder than the one you just went through. > 2. Relax, the handcuffs are tight because theyre new. Theyll stretch after you wear them a while. > 3. If you take your hands off the car, Ill make your birth certificate a worthless document. (My Favorite) > 4. If you run, youll only go to jail tired. > 5. Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because thats the speed of the bullet thatll be chasing > you. (LOVE IT) > 6. You dont know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh? > 7. Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I dont think it will help. Oh, did I mention that Im the shift supervisor? > 8. Warning! You want a warning? O.K, Im warning you not to do that again or Ill give you another ticket. > 9. The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog? > 10. Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop. > 11. Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven. > 12. In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC. ( National Crime Information Center ) > 13. Just how big were those two beers you say you had? > 14. No sir, we dont have quotas anymore. We used to, but now were allowed to write as many tickets as we can. > 15. Im glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail. > AND THE WINNER IS.... > 16. You didnt think we give pretty women tickets? Youre right, we dont.. Sign here.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Nov 2013 14:05:26 +0000