Speaking of eating well in good company I was reminded of a conversation with my cousin Liz whose mother Alice was my father’s sister. This summer Liz and her husband Paul attended the wedding of Liz’s nephew at a vineyard near the hometown of his bride’s family in southern Italy. Speaking of her trip to Italy, of the touring she and Paul had done before the big event and of the wedding and the joyous, bountiful reception, Liz told me the two take-aways from her childhood were Food and Family. That’s it. That’s it exactly. Harry and Liz absolutely had that in common, especially given Harry’s expansive definition of family. Liz, a lover of words, has told me the word “companion” is based on Latin: com- ‘together with’ + panis ‘bread.’ Your companion is someone you break bread with. Harry had many companions. “Never eat alone if you can help it, Ma,” he told me. Harry my mentor. I love thinking of Harry’s companions, of the vastly different kinds of food they ate together, the places they saw where they lived or where they were visiting and the good times they shared. How many times did Harry write “Good times!” on his facebook page. So many, many good times. It matters to me to know of Harry’s companions and to know how the word companion came about and what it means. It matters to me to know Liz, who went out of her way to keep my spirits up during the long months of the search to find Harry, and to know Liz and Harry were kindred spirits from the time Harry was little. Here is an entry from a journal I kept that shows how Harry and Lizs friendship went way back. We had gone to visit Aunt Alice and Uncle Michael at their home In New Jersey, a family tie that meant a lot to Harry all the years of his life. I include it here to show what Harry was like when he was little, how his mind worked, and how a gallant and determined 2-year-old took care of his Aunt Liz, who delighted him. June 4, 1983: Oh he was pleased to be at Cardman’s. Settled right in. They had a toy chest in the living room. He came onto the sun porch with us and brought toys in. There was a child’s wooden rocking chair for him. “Rocking chair!!” he exclaimed, pleased. “What color is it?” asked Uncle Michael. “Blue,” said Harry. Alice took us to the church where she works on books and I chose a bunch of children’s books for Harry. She read him The Little Red Lighthouse and the Great Grey Bridge, Leo the Late Bloomer and Where the Wild Things Are while I picked books out. He loved it. He then picked up my purse and charged off, laughing. Harry’s dinner was just about ready when we got home and Harry was ready for it. He climbed into the highchair. “There’s something extra special for your dinner,” I told him. “Chicken pox!” said Harry. His potato wasn’t quite done so he started on ham and corn. The ham met with his whole-hearted approval. “Chicken!” he said between mouthfuls. Uncle Michael brought him out a napkin. “Thank you, Uncle Michael,” he said. He ate heartily and had more when Liz came home. He hid his face in the side of the high chair, beaming with content. She greeted him with obvious pleasure. Harry was overjoyed. He couldn’t wait for her to get back when she went to change her clothes. She sat next to him. “Where’s Aunt Liz?” I asked him. “Gone!” he told me. Sure enough she had put her hand over her eyes. At dinner he was thankful for “Aunt Allison (Alice) and “Friends” and “That” – the corn. Harry disappeared under the table with a placemat having noticed that Liz had kicked off her shoes and was barefoot. “ Liz – feet – cold,” he said and covered them with the placemat. At one point he told Alice that I had told him Liz would be coming and now she was there. “Mommy (told) Harry Liz kummins laytoe. Here NOW!” All things were right with the world. Liz was here. NOW! He loves to say NOW! ******* That was Harry, aware of living in the NOW from a tender age. Ann, Harrys nostalgic Mom
Posted on: Sat, 04 Oct 2014 19:16:33 +0000
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