Spending time with dad tonight was a sobering reminder of how difficult it can be for the aging to finish the race without many opportunities to lead and or serve. Watching dad for the last few years, especially the last six months or so has given me much to think about. He can no longer preach, perform marriages, lead at funerals, visit the sick in the hospitals and or counsel those in need. He is not going to ever again be asked to any of those things. The most he gets to do now is to say a prayer before we eat a meal. So he basically sits all day with little he can do, lack of hearing, lack of strength in his legs, losing his short term memory and even lacking an ability to engage in conversation like he once could. You wonder what might be going through his mind, like wishing he could preach again. Does dad ever feel like he has been forgotten? He doesnt get to love on people in great numbers on Sunday or during the week anymore. He once would sacrifice much to rescue those who were hurting but now he simply tries his best to make the most of each day. At one time he was active, involved, never missing a beat whereas now, it is slipping away. Here I sit on my bed across the hall from my earthly hero, knowing he will probably never again give me pearls of wisdom. What I once had easy access to is now gone. Dad, you are missed, so missed, it is just not the same. I know the best is yet to come, even so, how I wish I could hear you preach one more time, listen to your wise counsel again and or watch you love on those in need. Yes, I have been pondering, dropping tears all evening because I miss you dad. I still have you and I am grateful yet at times it is so hard. Perhaps tonights tears were just what I needed although it has been bitter sweet. I love you dad, you will always be my hero!
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 03:02:41 +0000
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