Spent 5 hours in the hospital with Dad tonight. Came back after mom and Jennifer left to have a little one on one with him. There was something I needed to say to him and apologize for that has bothered me for a long time, and is the only regret I have in my relationship with him over the years. (and it wasnt him, it was me, who was in the wrong) Got through that without choking up to bad, as my father is such a non emotional man. He said he never knew that I felt that way about him at the time, (Though I suspect otherwise). All he said when I apologized was Well, I know there are times when kids dont like their parents. I knew youd grow out of it. Nothing else. He just knew, and wasnt concerned about it. I then asked him what HE needed ME to do for him, since he has given me guidance and advice for 50 years. I told him that I knew, that he knew just how serious this was. He said he had already calculated out all the possible scenarios, (Which I knew he was doing within 5 minutes after we got the news last Thursday.) then started talking about stuff that he needs to discuss with my sister and I and our spouses, to get everyone on the same page and make everything as easy as possible for US. He is not worried in the least for himself it seems, just his supporting cast. We were interrupted by the Oncologist with a visit. (More on that in a moment) I asked him if there was anything he needed me to do for mom, and with a wave of his hand, he said with certainty, I know you and Gina will take care of her. ....No emotion...no uncertainty....the man just KNOWS, and is not worried about us getting each other through in the event of worst case scenario. I suspect that he knows just how strong my mom really is...(As in West Virginia, country girl, Chandler family strong). I guess not being emotional leads to a confidence of sorts that we will be alright without him, should that be the case. Its almost unnerving how calm he is about this situation. Right now, the ONLY thing I know for certain is I dont want to lose my dad. Dont know if that made any sense, but had to get it off my chest. The Oncologist said we could transfer his care and treatment to Rex, through his practice tomorrow, and possibly not delay getting his treatment started. I will go with mom tomorrow morning and hopefully sit in on the consult/transfer, and the doc said he should get his first treatment ASAP, in the hospital. They did the biopsies yesterday afternoon, and the surgeon inserted the treatment port under his skin in his left chest area this evening, so he is ready for all that. Tomorrow will be a busy day. I cannot thank all the individuals who have called and posted with prayers and well wishes enough for your support. Bless all of you....
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 06:46:04 +0000
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