Spent literally 2 hours crying because I miss my grandma so much! Now I cant sleep because shes the only one on my mind right now. I dont even want to go to school tomorrow so I can spend time with my other grandma just to make some memories. Yanno I sometimes spend time in the restroom at night thinking about her and crying. I dont remember the last time we went to visit her.. Hopefully we get to visit her this weekend and buy her flowers and have a little picnic like the other day. But not just for this weekend.. Every week. I sometimes imagine myself sitting next to her in heaven wondering how it feels like. I sometimes have those moments where I want to kill myself just to be with her... But at the same time I dont want to cause I would end up going to hell. She will forever be in my heart! I will never forget about her. I remember in her funeral I asked my dad why shes sleeping, but I was so little I didnt know what was happening. My dad just told me to her on the forehead but I didnt want to cause I thought that I would wake her up... I still dont know why she left and I dont want to ask... I was just looking around and everyone was crying. Ive never seen my dad cry so hard before! My grandma would always have a Coca Cola in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I love her and it sucks how we never really had time with her.. But at least we have some memories. You guys might say keep your head up but its easy life letting go of someone that you truly love. I just want to be in her arms hugging her so tight! I wish she was still here...
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 08:09:51 +0000
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